A Not-So-Terrible Thing: The Bellman Chronicles Is “Live”.

OCTOBER 22, 2010:

After much consideration and with tremendous trepidation, The Hook launches his first blog, You’ve Been Hooked!,  and joins the ranks of the WordPress community. A second blog (this one!) , soon follows.

My life would never be the same. Seriously.

JUNE 28, 2012:

After even more work – and more than a few hiccups along the way – The Hook decides to expand his horizons and publish his first book, The Bellman Chronicles. With the help of his friends, family, and the geniuses at CreateSpace – not to mention a little luck – that book has finally been completed.

A dream has become reality.

Here’s a quick description of my literary “masterpiece:

I know what you’re thinking, “What is this? Does it have any hunky, brooding vampires?”

• Let’s be clear, this book does NOT contain…
• Beautiful members of the Undead searching for a nice light snack/true love.
• Teenage wizards battling adversaries so fearsome they must not be named.
• Children battling to the death in a televised spectacle.
• Virginal college students with soap opera names who shed their purity after meeting emotionally crippled, perverted businessmen – who happen to have billions.

The Bellman Chronicles is a collection of tales featuring…

TERRIBLE PEOPLE:

Douchebags who think Grandma’s wheelchair is a suitable substitute for a luggage cart.
Crazy cougars who think the term “full-service hotel” means the security officer will sleep with you – while your husband watches.
Guests who bring animals with them: a deer strapped to their RV – which they park next to the kitchen entrance of the hotel’s restaurant.

TERRIBLE THINGS:

Getting caught daydreaming while your spouse “shares her feelings.”
Spilling your morning coffee.
Hairless cats.

So if you think your life sucks, take some of that money you were going to spend on Red Bull and smokes and read about someone who is REALLY suffering, namely yours truly.

You can call me The Hook.

Now, at last, you can visit my CreateSpace  e-store and order The Bellman Chronicles. If you are so inclined, the Amazon.com version, Kindle edition and other channels will be open within 5 to 7 days.

Again, thank you to everyone who helped make this dream a reality. Now the real battle begins, convincing millions of readers to put down their copies of Twilight, The Hunger Games and Fifty Shades of Grey and give my “work” a chance!

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#142: Being Human…

We tend to forget Clark Kent is a writer.

Okay, he’s actually a journalist, but you get the point; he’s a creative individual. Not only that, he’s the Ultimate Creative Genius; able to write at superhuman speed while still finding time to leap tall buildings in a single bound!

I do not possess super-speed. I cannot formulate a blog post in my Kryptonian brain while foiling Lex Luthor’s latest scheme. My tiny human brain has found itself overwhelmed of late by my many challenges. Such as…

• Working full-time carting luggage around for ungrateful tourists.
• Supporting – and occasionally enjoying – a family.
• Writing  and maintaining You’ve been Hooked!
• Writing and maintaining The Book of Terrible.
• Creating and launching weekly column for Bullet News Niagara.
• Launching and promoting my first – and hopefully not last – book, The Bellman Chronicles.
• And finally, attending a movie and comic convention here and there!

If I was concealing a tenth of Mr. Kent’s awesome power, maybe I’d have a shot at maintaining all of the responsibilities I’ve chosen to shoulder. However,  I am but a  mere mortal – I know, it saddens my wife, she was hoping to land a vampire – who has been forced to concede defeat.

As you are well aware, my productivity has taken a hit of late and it does not appear the situation is going to improve any time soon. To say the very least. I’m certain many of you have reached this conclusion in regards to your own hectic schedules; there simply aren’t enough hours in a single day to do it all.

Tom Welling as Superman/Clark Kent. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Whether it’s a dream or a loved one, something always suffers when we take on a foe outside our power set.

Sorry, the comic book analogies just come so naturally, I can’t resist.

At any rate, while I have not thrown in the proverbial, blogging towel just yet I have found myself forced to scale back my WordPress activities… for a little while, at least. Ironically, it was my blogs that inspired me to write a book and pursue an online column in the first place.

To wrap this rambling mess up, I’ll still be around folks; just in small doses. And as always, I’ll pop up occasionally on other blogs. keep in touch, okay?

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Royal Wedding – Or Royal Mess?

Just for a change of pace, let’s cut to the chase, shall we?

If media reports are to be believed, Prince Albert of Monaco has a real firebrand on his manicured hands.

Charlene Wittstock, Princess Charlene, as of last Friday’s civil ceremony, apparently attempted to pull a “Runaway (Royal) Bride”, not once, but three times!

The former Olympic swimmer was reportedly so distraught over recent reports that the prince recently had an illegitimate child and that another is on the way, that she tried to take refuge in the South African embassy while on a wedding-dress trip in May.

Of course, Palace officials caught up with her, confiscated her passport, and “persuaded” her to follow through with the nuptials. If this latest revelation is true, the prince will have four out-of-wedlock “Little Als” running around.

Perhaps his nickname should be “Prince Thumper”!

As the self-appointed WordPress chronicler of mankind’s missteps, I felt compelled to comment on this twisted tale, but I’m honestly not sure just what the story is here.

Is it the media’s willingness to report anything celebrity related, regardless of its truth? Is it the fact a young woman has found herself thrust into a Princess Diana-style scenario (a marriage that may soon turn loveless yet inescapable), and no one is willing to rise to her defense?

I can only say one thing for certain: after the tacky, in-your-face spectacle that was the British Royal Wedding, these nuptials rocked!

At least it’s been interesting.

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This Is One Of The Fastest Growing WordPress.com Blogs?

Image via Wikipedia

To begin, let me just say that The Hook has no real ego to speak of (16 years of marriage and fatherhood will do that to a guy!), so what I’m about to say is not motivated by jealousy or vanity. I just feel the overwhelming need to scream into the internet.

So here goes..THIS IS ONE OF THE FASTEST GROWING WORDPRESS.COM BLOGS?

bdsex69.hotactress.biz is number seven on the list that appears on our dashboards, fellow bloggers. I couldn’t contain my curiosity and checked it out and now I’m paying the price.

I can’t unsee this.. whatever this site is supposed to be, so all I can do is take to the ‘net to express my outrage.

I love blogging. Since I’ve joined the WordPress community I’ve discovered a great creative outlet that has provided an opportunity to “rage against the machine” as it were. 

Well. I have a lot of rage right now. But who do I direct it against? Who is responsible for this mess? Does anyone even run this blogging community at all?

Where is Charlie Sheen with a machete when you need him?

 

And Now..It’s Time To Be Versatile.

Before we continue with our regularly scheduled rants about this terrible world we live in, there is a bit of business that needs attending to. The Hook has been awarded the following honor…

Now the fun part, I have to list seven (only seven, unfortunately!) blogs that give me great pleasure and thus hinder my ability to lash out into the vast reaches of cyberspace. Here’s my “terrible” list, in no particular order.

1. The Mike-Mitch Project: Don’t read this blog on an empty stomach! The exploration of food in all its gastronomic wonder is the order of the day here.

2. Tom Huff’s Personal Blog: Good clean fun centered on fun facts designed to keep a smile on your face until you stop reading.

3. Tinkerbelle86′s Blog: This one has everything – posts from a young lady exploring the world instead of reading about it, random shots of natural beauty and manmade wonder, and loads of fun.

4. La Avventura: More fun in the sun from exotic locales.

5. The Writer Nubbin: She thinks nobody likes her. Prove her wrong and you’ll be happy you did.

6. ECHOSTAINS BLOG: One of many great poetry blogs in the WordPress blogverse. Fortunately, she can actually write as well as wax poetic! 

7. A LEGO A DAY: Self-explanatory title, isn’t it? Tons of fun in little packages. An idea so simple, yet brilliant. I wish I’d thought of it.

And now, seven previously unknown facts about The Hook.

1. I really hate playing favorites in this manner.

2. The text in all my posts seems to be coming out grey instead of black lately and it’s driving me insane!

3. I actually enjoy the music of Hall and Oates! Blame my 1980s upbringing.

4. My wife HATES the blog! Only because I have a seemingly endless list of home-improvement projects that I’m woefully underqualified to tackle.

5. I watch Glee with my twelve-year-old daughter and when it isn’t too dirty, I actually enjoy it!

6. I may be addicted to Coke. (The beverage – bellmen can’t afford REAL drugs!)

7. I’m unbelievably happy this is over. 

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