A television ratings juggernaut is almost at the finish line.
Breaking Bad has shattered records, made critics smile – as much as they can without bursting into flame, that is – and elevated Bryan Cranston to the upper echelon of the television actor hall of fame.
Perhaps I should actually watch an episode before its over?
Then again, with on-demand services, DVDs, and reruns, nothing ever ends on television, doe sit?
Oh well, let’s get to it, shall we?
1) Walter White is usurped by another drug lord – Lindsay Lohan. (Obvious, yes, but not that unlikely.)
2) The entire cast explodes in a fiery ball of meth-laced flame. (Again, not that unbelievable.)
3) Walter takes a stab art politics and pairs with Sarah Palin. (Her best choice so far!)
4) The pink teddy bear comes to life and kicks Walter’s meth-dealing ass once and for all. (Don’t give me that look: supernatural shows are all the rage these days!)
5) Walter’s face finally seizes up during one of those really long, intense looks and he dies a painful, but humorous death.
6) The White family gets out of the meth business and opens a Greek restaurant called “Breaking Plates!”
7) Walter White accidentally blows up his lab, triggers a dimensional rift and winds up in the same universe as a certain group of survivors of a zombie outbreak. Coming next season from AMC: Breaking The Walking Dead!
8) Jesse and Walter take a road trip to sell some meth to a small town called Chester’s Mill, where they become trapped under a giant energy field. (Points if you know the connection between Breaking Bad and Under the Dome, kids.)
9) The characters gather in a diner, where Walter begins to lay bare all his secrets – as the screen fades to black. (We’ll never, EVER forgive you, David Chase.)
10) Walter White goes to bed and wakes up as Tim Whatley. (Use that clicking finger and rush over to Google, kids!)