1) The Amazing Peeper (You’re a teenage boy who just gained the ability to climb walls. What’s the first thing you’re going to do?)
2) The Scarlet Stalker.
3) He Can last All Night Man. (Mary Jane wasn’t that easy to land at first.)
4) The Amazing Ass-hat.
5) The Webbed Wingnut.
6) The Scarlet Sex Machine.
7) Along Came A Spider Guy. (Admittedly, he got really baked one night and read a book of nursery rhymes.)
8) The Two-Minute Wonder. (Gwen Stacy gave him that one after a botched attempt at coitus.)
9) Dead Man Swinging (Remember, he got his powers from a radioactive spider bite.)
10) Superman. (Kryptonian lawyers threatened to sue the radioactive ass off him.)
Image via Wikipedia
How do you follow-up a romance with a street-wise championship boxer Mark Wahlberg? If you’re Amy Adams, you join the cast of Zack Snyder‘s upcoming reboot of Superman as Lois lane and leap into the arms of Brit actor Henry Cavill.
You can’t really blame her, although Supes did get his ass kicked by Muhammad Ali once.
There are dozens of reasons a girl would rather upgrade from Coach to First-class on Air Krypton. Among the highlights:
- No overbearing mother-in-law or drug addicted brother to contend with.
- You don’t have to worry about him complaining about your bad cooking (Unless you use you-know-what as seasoning!)
- He loves animals, (He’s owned a super-dog and horse!) which chicks go goofy for.
- He can see right into your heart – literally!
Personally, I’m not sure Adams can channel Lois’ spunky stick-to-itiveness and sexy attitude. Of course she was hot as stolen nuclear material when she played a night nurse with braces in Catch Me If You Can, so who knows?
She’ll be joined by Diane lane as Martha Kent and Kevin Costner as Johnathan Kent, which actually give me more reason for concern than anything else. Costner is a superb actor – sometimes. I just hope director Snyder utilizes him directly and we wind up with the Bull Durham Costner and not the train wreck we got in The Postman.