#143: Zombies.

The Walking Dead (Photo credit: Med PhotoBlog)

I can only imagine the uproar this title has caused across the “interweb”.

To be clear, I’m not referring to the undead horde that rampages across AMC’s television masterpiece, The Walking Dead, my focus today is on the millions of living – but just barely – human beings who choose to waste their lives by never realizing their full potential. Look closely and you can actually see the neurons burning out in their eyes.

Most of them don’t even try. You can find them in every corner of our society…

• The educational system. And it’s not just the students; have you seen some of the teachers lumbering through school hallways these days?
• Politics. Sarah Palin anyone? And she’s armed!
• Teenagers. Of course, they could always outgrow their infection… hopefully!
• Reality television. Kate Gosselin, anyone? And she’s reproduced!
• The Kardashians. They transcend traditional categorization but they’re evolutionary throwbacks who threaten the very fabric of our society. As you may have guessed, I’m not a fan…
• Music. The list is seemingly endless; Jessica Simpson, Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga, etc.

I could go on, but I need to get busy drafting an online petition allowing for a government sanctioned “living zombie culling”.

I think its about time, don’t you?

Related articles

• Zombie Fight! British Mall Offers 4-Hour Walker Hunt Experience (inquisitr.com)
• Drama, Thy Name is Zombie (realmsqueen.wordpress.com)

Is Sarah Palin’s Alaska Off The Map?

Image via Wikipedia

The TLC network has left its mark on the modern television age through such shows as the entertaining Cake Boss and the dreadful and chilling Toddlers and Tiaras. It has also allowed itself to be manipulated by a new master of the modern political machine.

A staggering 3.2 million viewers a week tuned in for Sarah Palin’s Alaska to see the state’s most talked-about resident shoot defenseless wildlife and make Kate Gosselin almost cry.

Now it appears the timer has run out on the newest reality television experiment. The network hasn’t announced a second season and Palin is being unusually silent about her reality tv future.

Palin and her father Chuck took more than a few shots, (Get it, they’re gun nuts!) at Kate Gosselin, chuckling over clips of Kate whining about being cold and wet on her brief Alaskan adventure.

“It was a bit of a country mouse, city mouse kind of thing,” said Sarah, (She’s going to need a qualified speech writer if she does set her sights on the White House!). “Ya gotta give it the old college try, though.” Palin added, “I never heard the kids complain; they were innocent, sweet, curious spirits.” Chuck added, “She was out of her element, poor lady.”

I can’t properly convey how strange it sounds when a Palin pities a Gosselin; it’s like George W. Bush criticizing..anyone. Political pundits have watched Palin’s show closely, speculating a second season would mean she isn’t serious about a run for higher office.

Whether the show returns or not is irrelevant, it’s purpose has been fulfilled. Sarah Palin’s Alaska has been the most expensive, successful and longest televised political campaign ad in history.

Related Articles

• Sarah Palin’s Alaska Not Renewed: Report (omg.yahoo.com)
• TLC reportedly pulls plug on ‘Palin’s Alaska’ (today.msnbc.msn.com)

Sarah Palin and Kate Gosselin – Double the Terror!

In pop culture crossovers between characters, especially villains, are a fan’s dream. Think Freddy vs. Jason – the end result was unwatchable, but the premise had thrilled fans to death.

Bad pun, I know, but the effort counts, right?

At any rate, the world was given a reality show crossover recently when Sarah Palin, ravenous as ever for fame and power, played host to that other blight on society, Kate Gosselin and her brood on Sarah Palin’s Alaska.

At least Alaska is fairly isolated so the collateral damage could be kept to a minimum. In this case, the damage appears to have been confined to Gosselin’s little devils, I mean angels, who were actually having a good time when, once again, mom pulled the rug out from under their little feet.

Kate Gosselin apparently does not do the outdoors well. You’d think someone at TLC would have let Kate know there would be shooting and fishing (you know, things hunters like Palin actually expect you to do when they invite you camping!) Miserable and wet, Kate pulled the rip cord and ended the Palin-Gosselin Alaskan Hoedown.

Now if only she had done that before the cameras started rolling.

Where’s a rock slide when you need one, right?

Nonetheless, I have to question the wisdom of giving either one of these women the opportunity to exploit their families and surroundings, never mind bringing them together to wreak havoc on the good state of Alaska. 

I mean, how effective a president will Sarah Palin ever be if she willing invites Kate Gosselin and her spawn into her home? And don’t think for a minute she doesn’t have the White House in her crosshairs.

Everything Palin has done in recent months, from appearing on Fox News to unleashing her daughter on the Dancing with the Stars stage, has been designed to endear her to the American public, who obviously have no idea what this woman is truly capable of.

You think George W. Bush was bad?

I kept praying Dick Cheney would emerge from the woods and the save the world a lot of future heartache.

YOU’RE NEXT, RUDOLPH!

Related Articles

• Video: Kate Gosselin Makes Sarah Palin Look Positively Presidential (crushable.com)
• Sarah Palin Makes Kate Gosselin Cry (socialitelife.com)

Give Jon a break, E! online, (He’s trying.)

Sometimes people just need someone to hate.

Bold statement, I know, but consider the case of Jon Gosselin; average joe who over the course of two pregnancies, fathered eight children with that “lovely” harpy known as Kate Gosselin, (sarcasm thick enough for you?).

This is the pic E! online used in their story. Real objective isn't it?

After several seasons of that reality tv abomination Jon and Kate Plus Eight, he cheats on his wife, moves out of their house and protests his children’s participation in the very show that made him a household name.

News broke this week that Gosselin, after lying low for a while, has apparently given up the tv game altogether.

So let me get this straight – Jon Gosselin gets out of the reality tv game and the so-called mainstream media still hounds him. The man returns to work in the technology field, the career he pursued before his life became a total you-know-what storm, and E! online continues to refer to him as a “douchebag”.

Their words, not mine.

I realize E! is in the celebrity-watching business, but if a man has realized the best thing he can do is get out of the game, then leave him alone!

There are literally a million issues in the world than can be tied to the entertainment biz. Don’t forget stars, especially these days, are all about getting attention for charity work. Sean Penn will show up when an african child skins his knee as long as the media is there.

Then again, maybe the Hook is overreacting. After all, E! is the same network that chose the Kardashian sisters as their reps.

How much of a threat can they be, Jon Gosselin?

Does every relief worker get his own camera crew?