The Junos Are Tonight! Does Anyone Really Care?

First off, most people reading this (All five of you!), probably don’t even know what the Juno Awards are.

 The Junos are Canada’s answer to the Grammys, celebrating individual artists and bands’ artistic and technical achievements for the year. New members of the Canadian Music Hall of Fame are also inducted as part of the awards ceremonies. Not only do most Canadians barely know what the Junos are, those that do really don’t care.

This year’s ceremony will be hosted by Canada’s black Eminem, Drake, who will no doubt play up the fact that’s he’s buddies with everyone’s favorite teen demigod, Justin Bieber. Speaking of He-Whose-Lesbian-Haircut-Inspired-A-Million-Jokes, he’s nominated for four Junos - Album for the Year, Artist of the Year, the Fan Choice Award and the Best Pop Album for My World 2.0.

OF COURSE, I'M A SERIOUS ARTIST, LOOK AT MY FACE!

Bieber is apparently not going to be performing, which just further explains just why most Canucks don’t care about their homegrown awards. There are some fine performers tapped to hit the stage though, Arcade Fire (Who ticked off some Americans at last year’s Grammys, good for them!), Hedley and Sarah McLachlan.

Of course, in order to draw Yankee viewers, the Junos honor non-Canadian talent with an International Album of the Year. Last year it was won by Kings of Leon with Only by the Night. This year the artists up for that award are Eminem, Lady Antebellum, Taylor Swift, Ke$ha and Katy Perry.

To further undermine their credibility, the Junos have decided to induct Shania Twain into the Canadian Music Hall of Fame even though her career has been colder than Montreal in February (It makes sense if you’re Canadian!) and most Canadians have all but forgotten about her. It’s no coincidence she has a new show spotlighting her attempt to return to the top on the Oprah Winfrey Network.   

 Speaking of The Mighty US of A, most Canadians love the States and that’s why they’ll stick to American awards shows. It also explains why the Junos are constantly taking a beat down from their Canadian award show rival, the star magnet MuchMusic Video Awards.

Canadian artists may attend the Junos out of a sense of loyalty but  every single one of them knows they have to crack the golden nugget that is the US recording market in order to truly achieve superstar status. Our singers know that most Canadians pay more attention to the American cultural scene than their own.

And who can blame them? Canada is responsible for unleashing the musical horror that is Celine Dion. 

For anyone that’s actually interested, the Junos begin at 8 pm on the CTV network.

 Related Articles

• It’s the Juno Awards! (aquantumofknowledge.wordpress.com)
• Drake Says He’s Ready To Host THE 2011 JUNO AWARDS (prnewswire.com)
• Neil Young honoured on Juno’s first night (theglobeandmail.com)
• Neil Young, Arcade Fire among Juno Award winners (ctv.ca)