#117: Summer Movie Crowds!

Let me just say this: I love the movies. Seriously.

Here’s why:

• Anything is possible, “You will believe a man can fly!” And we did.
• Sharing the whole big-screen experience with a room full of strangers rocks – most of the time.
• Popcorn rules! Period.

However, this isn’t The Book of Awesome, so let’s get to the terrible things that surround the summer movie experience, shall we?

• The lines… that… never… end! Lines for tickets, concessions, lines for everything it seems!
• Crazy concession prices. Yes, they’re the same all-year round, but when you seem to spend extra cash in the summer $50 for food really hurts!
• Chatty Cathys! Sure, I know you’re filled with summertime energy, but just shut it for two hours, okay? You want to yak your head off? Do it back at the hospital, you nut jobs!
• That one fat guy who eats like Godzilla devouring Tokyo!
• Crazed, giggly teen girls! They’re a subsection of the Chatty Cathys and a truly annoying one at that!

And you know what else really sucks about the movies these days? The near-extinction of the old time movie house. I miss the character surrounding these places, don’t you?

Multiplexes just can’t compete….

But I’m showing my age, so its time to go. Until we meet again, try to stay cool okay?

AVAILABLE NOW!

The Kindle version is still in the works, but here’s the Amazon link for the “old fashioned” print version…

Related articles

• Our Favorite Movie Theatre Experiences (mrmovietimes.com)

#30: People That Talk During The Movie!

Image via Wikipedia

Yes, this one is so obvious it hurts, but it also reaches everyone.

Who hasn’t been pissed off by some Chatty Cathy? The modern moviegoer has enough to deal with these days without some moron disregarding the basic rules of civilized society.

• First you spend time you’ll never get back in line. By the way, it just feels like an eternity! 
• Next, you shell out more money for two tickets than you spent on your wedding anniversary!
• Then you make that climb up the aisles until you find the perfect seat – or any available one!
• Next you take out a small loan to pay for popcorn and a drink. A side note: the size choices are ridiculous, aren’t they? Do you need three litres of Coke when you’re going to be sitting for two hours?
• Then there is the “pre-show” a.k.a fifteen minutes of advertising to contend with.
• Next are the previews that show you the entire movie in glorious make-your-ears-bleed surround sound!

Finally - assuming you survive the build-up – the Feature Presentation begins. Things are fine – at first. Then, just as you’re being drawn in by the magic of the cinema, the bottoms drops out of the whole experience.

Someone, you’re not sure just who, can’t shut up!

Or rather, they refuse to. People know what they’re doing, they just don’t care. The hell with you and your quest for a few hours of peace and enjoyment  in the dark.

You can always rent the movie when it come out.

Related articles

• Odd kids and movies (myorbit365.wordpress.com)
• People at the Movie Theatre… (hilarytopper.com)
• A Lesson in Movie Theater Etiquette from the Muppets (popdose.com)

Movie Trailers On Acid!

Image via Wikipedia

Movie trailers have always been kinetic to the nth degree, but these days you need a helmet to get through them! 

They contain roughly 50 shots in two-and-a-half minutes, set to a wild soundtrack that leaves you sitting in a pool of your own ear-blood!

Just look at the trailer for the latest Pirates of the Caribbean, filled to the absolute brim with more shots of Johnny Depp than the entire run of 21 Jump Street! Perhaps the reason Captain Jack is so nutty is because he had to endure a string of crazy trailers created by a room full of squirrels hopped up on a mix of Red Bull and lighter fluid! 

The last Harry Potter film (yeah, right!), is almost upon us and while the trailer is slightly more subdued than the usual fare, it still carries with it the potential to short-circuit pacemakers.

Our kids are wild enough these days, do they really need the extra shot of adrenalin?

Will the cinematic madness ever end?

Related articles

• First Look: The ‘Batman: The Dark Knight Rises’ Trailer Leaks To The Internets (pinkisthenewblog.com)
• Bomberman movie trailer makes rollerskates awesome again (joystiq.com)