Starbucks customers in Hong Kong are steamed at the ridiculously overpriced, yet wildly popular chain after discovering an outlet store in the financial district allowed workers to use water from a tap near a urinal to brew their coffee, according to Agence France-Presse.
Apparently the coffee shop, in the famous Bank of China Tower, has been using the water from a tap in a toilet to make beverages since its opening in October 2011.
Naturally, Starbucks has issued a statement designed to reassure customers that such water was the only available source for that store and that such practices are not commonplace.
(Starbucks execs then snorted several lines of coke off the backs of former porn stars using thousand dollar bills, I’m guessing.)
Here are some signs to look out for if you have concerns about quality control at your local Starbucks.
1) The bottled water contains more pathogens than Courtney Love’s bloodstream on a Saturday night.
2) The croissants are labelled “Gently Used.”
3) A sign above the counter reads: “We care about customer service, but we’re not fanatics about it.”
4) Your server twitches more than Donald Trump at an IRS audit.
5) Another sign above the counter reads: “Clean cups: $3.”
6) They change locations following every health inspection.
7) The bottled beverages glow at night.
8) Staff tell you the numerous spider webs are a homage to Peter Parker’s alter ego.
9) A notice on the counter reads: “Last Pot of Water Boiled At 7 AM.” (And it’s 2:30 PM.)
10) Your Barista? Amanda Bynes.