THE SCENE:
My kitchen: Friday, June 15, 9:07 P.M.
The family is gathered in the kitchen – as per usual – each occupied with their own activities:
- Sarah is eating and working on her own literary masterpiece, The Misadventures of Misery.
- VampireLover is preparing evening snacks
- I’m… Well, you know.
But one thing has attracted drawn us together: television coverage of the circus that has overtaken our humble city… And street. Seriously, cars have lined our street and every nook and cranny in-between. Over 100,000 people have descended upon Niagara Falls to watch a man overcome a number of obstacles that would only have occurred in my little home. I’ll get to those in a minute.
For now, here’s the skinny: if all goes as planned Nik Wallenda will make history during a walk scheduled for 10:20 p.m. ET, as he crosses from the American side to the Canadian side of the falls on a 500-metre wire suspended 60 metres above one of God’s most awesome creations.
Next to my wife, that is.
At any rate, here’s a very brief breakdown of a few of the pitfalls Wallenda has already overcome:
- BUREAUCRACY: The Niagara Parks Commission, (the local government Gestapo) fought hard for years to block this event. By the way, the Commission has been mired in one corruption scandal after another for years, but they’ve always blocked “stunting” as they call it. Ironically, they’re benefiting huge in fees and tourism revenue. Go figure, right?
- IDIOCY: The same government goons who stuck to their guns for years, but now they’re singing Wallenda’s praises.
- NATURE: The power of the falls themselves, and believe it or not, peregrine falcons who may still attack Wallenda as he crosses. Seriously.
- FINANCIAL HARDSHIP: As of a few days ago, Wallenda was $500, 000 short of his estimated 1.3 million-dollar budget to cover this entire operation. Of course, its still going ahead, one way or another.
- GREED: Many have made plans to benefit from Wallenda’s achievement, but few have come forward to help fill his pockets.
I’ve barely scratched the surface, but you get the idea, I’m sure. Its 9:39 P.M and I have to sign-off; its been a looong day.
Regardless of what happens, Nik Wallenda has already earned himself a spot in history. know I’ll never forget all the hoopla he brought with him…
#115: The Day Sherman Hemsley “Moved On Up” Once Last Time…
Okay, before you say anything, can you really blame me? Someone had to say it…
At any rate, I’ve lost a childhood idol and the world has lost a man who helped inspire millions of children of all races and creeds to become actors. Sherman Hemsley died today at the age of 74 at his home in El Paso.
But George Jefferson will live forever. His bigotry, rudeness and love for his “Weezy” will always be a pleasure to watch.
Hemsley, with Isabel Sanford, on The Jeffersons. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
In a 1977 Jeffersons episode titled “George’s Legacy,” the character decided to immortalize himself by hiring a sculptor to create his bust. “A man’s got to leave his mark,” George tells the bust. “Something to prove that he’s been here. Otherwise, there ain’t no sense in showing up at all.”
You left your mark, Sherman, trust me.
English: Sherman Helmsley, taken at the Hustler Hollywood store on December 3, 1999 Photo courtesy of http://www.lukeisback.com, used with permission (see here). Image taken from the Wayback Machine’s archive of lukeford.com, viewable here (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
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Posted in Humor, Life, Postaweek2012, Social Commentary, Television, Terrible Things, Uncategorized
Tagged Archie Bunker, Celebrities, current-events, Entertainment, George Jefferson, Jefferson, Sherman Hemsley