A QUICK PRIMER ON TORONTO MAYOR ROB FORD.
Click here: and HERE: and finally, HERE:
And now we shall begin, friends.
10) Mayor Ford’s recent troubles have put the kibosh on his newest fundraising program: “Cash for Crack”.
9) His newest title? “The World’s Most Interesting man – But In A Bad Way”.
8) Ford has now been named “God’s Gift To Late-Night Talk Show Hosts” by, well, every talk show host worth his salt.
7) Media outlets all over the world have hired extra
monkeys interns to specifically deal with an influx of Ford related material.
6) The Ford Nation has been declared a disaster zone by Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper.
5) Charlie Sheen’s newest idol? Two guesses?
4) In an effort to deflect attention from his many scandals, Mayor Ford is planning on releasing a sex tape – assuming he can find his penis, that is.
3) Some angry constituents have theorized that Ford is so far gone he must be in league with the Devil. When reached for comment Satan replied, “Are you crazy? I worship him!”
2) In spite of it all, Mayor Ford claims he will still run for re-election. His campaign slogan? “I Bet You Can’t Wait To See What I Do For An Encore!”
1) There is actually a good man lurking inside Mayor Ford – unfortunately, he swallowed him five years ago.