Singer Lauryn Hill has been sentenced to three months in prison for failing to pay taxes on about $1 million in earnings.
Bad, Lauryn!
This situation, and Hill’s hubris (you can’t hide from the Tax man, girl!), got me thinking.
Don’t worry, it only hurt a little.
Here are some charges I feel should be leveled against other celebrities for their many crimes against the United States and humanity in general.
1) Lindsay Lohan: Domestic terrorism. Let’s face it, she’s hit just about every moving vehicle in the US by now; there has to be a hidden agenda here. No one is that foolish or reckless, right?
2) Charlie Sheen: How much time do you have?
3) Carly Rae Jepsen: Noise pollution. That damn song makes my ears bleed.
4) Justin Bieber: Primate smuggling and impersonating a teenage lesbian.
5) Reese Witherspoon: Polluting the internet with stories of the most dumbass arrest ever! And yes, Reese, I know your name.
6) The entire Kardashian clan: Crimes against humanity too numerous to mention, ‘natch.
7) Chris Brown: Being a disgrace to everyone with a penis.
8) Rihanna: Aiding and abetting Chris Brown. I swear, smoking hot looks are wasted on the beautiful. Rihanna has proven herself to be a danger to herself and others and must be stopped.
9) Gary Busey: Simply put, he’s going to hurt himself. Period.
10) Tom Cruise: His ego has been violating United States airspace restrictions for decades and is threatening to disrupt weather patterns and may even plunge the planet into another ice age. I love your work, Tom, but come on!
#129: Couples You Love To Hate!
Sometimes Fate just likes to screw with us.
No other explanation can possibly account for those all-too common instances in which two truly despicable human beings decide to combine their negative energies to create a truly terrifying coupling.
Case in point…
Notice how she only has eyes for the camera? How about this one?
How could these two ever expect to love another human being as much as they love themselves?
Of course, its not just celebrities that should be held accountable for this crime against humanity; I’ve known plenty of “non-famous” couples that have become infamous in their little circles for being the Couple We Love To Hate. They make people shudder every time they crawl into a room as individuals, never mind as a duo! I’m talking about the type of person who calls out their own name during sex!
No one seems willing to stand up to them – not that it would do much good… Crazy people – or the criminally insane , for that matter – never think they’re crazy!
And they say opposites attract. If only that was always the case.
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Posted in Entertainment, Humor, Life, Music, Postaweek2012, Social Commentary, Television, Terrible Things, Uncategorized
Tagged celebrity couples, celebrity gossip, celebrity scandals, couples you love to hate, Kanye West, Kanye West and Kim Kardashian, Kim Kardashian, Relationships, society