#32: When Your Favorite TV Show Not Only Jumps The Shark…

It willingly dives right into its waiting jaws!

Here are just a few examples of once-beloved shows that decided to linger at the party long after the fun had evaporated…

• ALL IN THE FAMILY (1971-1979)
• THE ANDY GRIFFITH SHOW (1960-1968)
• THE COSBY SHOW (1984-1992)
• DALLAS (1978 -1991)
• ROSEANNE (1988-1997)

And of course, the one that started it all…

• HAPPY DAYS (1974-1984)

Arthur Fonzarelli had no idea just how much damage he was inflicting upon the television landscape when he strapped on that pair of waterskis (and leather jacket!), but the echoes of that moment still reverberate today.

 Of course, I’m referring to the new, and soon-to-be final, season of Two and a Half Men.

Until recently the spotlight has shone solely on Charlie Sheen and his oh-so-very-public meltdown. But the lawsuits have been put to rest and now that the dust has finally settled, both parties can move on with their lives. Sheen is actually starting to look relatively fit again.

The same can’t be said for the television family he left behind.

I don’t know who Ashton Kutcher has been sleeping with over at CBS (if the rumors are true, it’s apparently not Demi Moore!), but they it looks like they made a fatal error bringing him onboard a ship that was sailing fast and proud to the Land of High Ratings.

While the show’s ratings have remained higher than Sheen’s last season, longtime fans such as myself are already missing the drunken, womanizing, man-child and his keen sense of fashion. Kutcher’s Walden Schmidt is supposed to be an Internet whiz kid billionaire, but he behaves like a twelve-year-old suffering from Ritalin withdrawal. They even had his character make out with Alan’s ex-wife Judith, who is now remarried, something sure to enrage the show’s loyal fans even more.

I know it made me tune out for good, and I’ve stuck with the show through thick and thin. How many television viewers have felt the same over the years, I wonder?

Two and a Half Men mined the vast differences between its leads to produce comedy gold. Now, however, they have two leads who both appear to be lovable losers. 

It’s time to strap on the waterskis, Men.

Related articles

• Sheen, Warner Bros. settle lawsuit (arts.nationalpost.com)
• Are shows “jumping the shark” much too soon now? (iheartvikingquest.wordpress.com)

R.I.P Charlie Harper: Warner Bros. (Finally) Fires Sheen.

Charlie Harper is no more.

His portrayer,  Charlie Sheen was fired Monday from the hit sitcom Two and a Half Men by Warner Bros. Television. The action was taken after “careful consideration” and is effective immediately, the studio said in a statement. No decision has been made on the show’s future without its star, said Paul McGuire, a Warner spokesman.

It had to happen.

Sooner or later, our boy Charlie  was going to cross a line during one of his lightning-fast rants and some douchebag in a suit was going to get so pissed off they were going to push him back over the line.

In this case, it was the unemployment line. Now Charlie Sheen, who claims the general public can’t process his “greatness”, due to the tiger blood coursing through his veins, has more in common with the man on the street than he will ever admit.

Of course the man on the street doesn’t live with two “goddesses”, an entourage and have his own web show where he literally rants about anything he feels like.

In a text message to The Associated Press, Sheen responded, with the F-word and “They lose,” followed by the word “Trolls”, a word Sheen loves to use almost as much as “Winning!” Asked if he planned to sue, Sheen responded, “Big.” As for his next move, Sheen texted, “A big one.”

I think as far as the most of the world is concerned Charlie, you are a big one.

Related Articles

• Charlie Sheen fired; studio fears life in danger (reuters.com)
• Why Charlie Sheen was fired (insidetv.ew.com)
• Charlie Sheen Fired from “Two and a Half Men” + Star Responds to News (gossipcop.com)

Charlie Sheen Is “Winning!” On The ‘Net.

They say you can’t keep a good man down, especially if he has “tiger blood” running through his well-travelled veins.

As you may or not may be aware, our man Charles has decided to further direct the media coverage of his “Winning streak” by taking to the internet under his own steam. Or if you prefer, hot air.

Sheen’s Korner debuted on Ustream last night and has drawn in over 1.2 million hits so far. I say “hits’ because watching this Charlie Sheen is like taking a knockout punch to the memory bank. I remember the gifted comic actor who got paid, (a lot!) to play himself on Two and a Half Men.

I don’t know who the hell this guy is.

Apparently though, “You’re either in Sheen’s Korner or with the trolls.”

Charlie basically sat in his self-made Sober Valley Lodge and ranted about his kids, his celebrity supporters and whatever he felt like for just under an hour. The Luckiest Porn star on the Planet, (not her official title) Bree Olson was there of course, milking the Sheen cash Cow for all it’s worth. More than 5,000 viewers (subscribers) have joined Sheen’s “Crowd” on his official Ustream channel, and I have a feeling they’ll be treated to more “Winning!” very soon.

I just don’t know if anyone is winning in this scenario. How can Charlie go back to CBS if he keeps this bridge burning going?

Go to his “channel” this morning and you’ll see “Episode 2: Torpedoes of Truth”, which appears to be Charlie yelling and swearing at an associate named Bob Maron while the camera at his feet records live! He then lights a cigarette and holds the active lighter flame to the camera. All the while Bob is trying to rein Sheen in but the effort is pointless.

“Are you going on again tonight?” Bob asks, seemingly unaware he’s apart of Episode 2. Charlie  keeps going at a pace that is exhausting to watch never mind maintain. I recommend you watch for yourself, but only for a little while. Prolonged exposure to the drug called Charlie Sheen  can prove fatal to your psyche.

What else can I say but the obvious, “Winning!”

Related Articles

• “Sheens Korner a Waste of Time? 5 Ways to Make Ustream Charlie Sheen Webcast Better” and related posts (blogs.babble.com)
• Charlie Sheen debuts web show, ‘Sheen’s Korner’ (hollywoodnews.com)
• You Know Who Else Thought Charlie Sheen’s Webcast Sucked? (eonline.com)

If You Want To Commit Career Suicide Charlie, Fine, But Leave Two And A Half Men Alone!

Image via Wikipedia

Well, you’ve gone and done it now Charlie.

Just when I thought I could spend my time writing about the other terrible things unfolding in this crazy, mixed up world, you decide to fully publicly implode.

After a profanity-laced tirade during which he repeatedly bit the hand that feeds, well fed him, Sheen’s bosses did the unthinkable (At least in terms of revenue) and gave him a gift – the “Golden Network Axe”, and cancelled Two and a Half Men!

At least for the rest of the season. Had you there for a minute, right?

“Based on the totality of Charlie Sheen‘s statements, conduct and condition, CBS and Warner Bros. Television have decided to discontinue production of Two and a Half Men for the remainder of the season,” the short statement from CBS says.       

Here’s a sample of Sheen’s latest debacle on talk-radio, primarily directed at two and a Half Men creator Chuck Lorre.

“I violently hate Chaim Levine [Chuck Lorre],” he said on Thursday, calling from the Bahamas. “He’s a stupid, stupid little man and a pussy punk that I’d never want to be like. That’s me being polite,” reports TMZ. In a missive to fans, Sheen called Lorre a “contaminated little maggot,” adding, “I wish him nothing but pain in his silly travels especially if they wind up in my octagon.” The same day, he told Radar via text message that he’s poised to complete negotiations for a HBO show called Sheen’s Corner. Sheen would be paid $5 million an episode for the program where he would invite guests to ”focus on the truth and the absurd!”

What’s interesting to me is the fact that Sheen started this latest firestorm from the comfort of the Bahamas where he’s supposedly vacationing (from what?) with his ex-wife Brooke Mueller, adult film star Bree Olson and ‘nanny’ Natalie Kenly! Multiple news agencies, including Entertainment Tonight, are reporting on this foursome but the story is small potatoes compared to this latest dish.

I just don’t know how much more damage Charlie can do, but I wish he would keep it confined  to his little twisted porn paradise. Haven’t the rest of us suffered enough as a result of these celebrity train wrecks?

Image courtesy: GSI Media

Related Articles

• CBS Cancels Production On ‘Two And A Half Men’ For Remainder Of Season Following Sheen’s Radio Rant; Actor Fires Back (omg.yahoo.com)
• Charlie Sheen Self-Destructs; ‘Two and a Half Men’ Canceled (towleroad.com)
• Charlie Sheen: I Cured Myself With My Mind (omg.yahoo.com)
• Two and a Half Men Ends Production for the Season Following Charlie Sheen’s Radio Rant (omg.yahoo.com)

Charlie Sheen Hits Rehab! Quite A Shocker, Right?

Image via Wikipedia

It had to happen sooner or later, didn’t it?      

“Charlie Sheen has voluntarily entered an undisclosed rehabilitation center today,” spokesman Stan Rosenfield announced yesterday.

I guess he figured it worked so well for Lindsay Lohan, why not give it a shot?

After yet another bender jam-packed with drugs and porn stars, Sheen’s body finally made him an offer he couldn’t refuse – “Get help or die!”

Of course, the usual vultures came out to feast on the carcass of this story.

“He has so much porn,” adult film actress Kacey Jordan, 22, marveled to TMZ.com. “I think that’s probably all he does, is just sit there and watch porn.”  Jordan was one of five porn stars supposedly partying with Sheen during the night. But I have to disagree with her statement.

 

Every one else watches porn, Charlie orders out for porn stars to watch porn with him! 

 

For me the only enjoyable part of this tale is the chapter where the network weasels have to eat crow.       

Image via Wikipedia

 

“Due to Charlie Sheen’s decision to enter a rehabilitation center, CBS, Warner Bros. Television and executive producer Chuck Lorre are placing ‘Two and a Half Men’ on production hiatus,” a CBS statement said. “We are profoundly concerned for his health and well-being and support his decision.”

“What can we do?” one of Sheen’s CBS bosses complained, according to E! Online. “He shows up to work on time. He’s polite, and he makes us hundreds of millions of dollars.”

Exactly, as long as the Golden Goose was popping out ratings eggs, nobody at the network cared what he did. Now it’s not only come back to haunt them, it’s going to hit the bottom line.

And that they care about.

Related Articles

• How Good Is Charlie Sheen for a Porn Star’s Career? [Statistics] (gawker.com)
• Charlie Sheen’s Bender: The 6 Degrees Of Separation (crushable.com)
• Charlie Sheen Enters Rehab, Two and a Half Men Shut Down (37) – E! Online (blog) (news.google.com)