#85: The Extinction of the Corner Store.

Even though I’m only 41, I find myself riding a perpetual wave of nostalgia.

I remember a store, literally around the corner from my grandparent’s apartment, that epitomized a simpler time and place. It was run by two older German immigrants; they wore aprons and one was always sweeping the floor.

There were barrels of peanuts and other treats you just don’t see anymore. Shoppers were greeted with genuine gratitude and respect. They may not have run a 24-hour operation, consisting of 60 aisles stocked with thousands of items, but they had something the Big Box stores definitely don’t.

Human compassion and warmth have disappeared from the retail landscape, and that is truly terrible.

Movie Trailers On Acid!

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Movie trailers have always been kinetic to the nth degree, but these days you need a helmet to get through them! 

They contain roughly 50 shots in two-and-a-half minutes, set to a wild soundtrack that leaves you sitting in a pool of your own ear-blood!

Just look at the trailer for the latest Pirates of the Caribbean, filled to the absolute brim with more shots of Johnny Depp than the entire run of 21 Jump Street! Perhaps the reason Captain Jack is so nutty is because he had to endure a string of crazy trailers created by a room full of squirrels hopped up on a mix of Red Bull and lighter fluid! 

The last Harry Potter film (yeah, right!), is almost upon us and while the trailer is slightly more subdued than the usual fare, it still carries with it the potential to short-circuit pacemakers.

Our kids are wild enough these days, do they really need the extra shot of adrenalin?

Will the cinematic madness ever end?

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The New Maxwell House Ad Campaign Is Hurting My Brain!

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Just to be clear, while I don’t drink coffee,  I have nothing against the fine people at Maxwell House.

That having been said, I would like to firebomb the offices of their advertising agency. Have you seen these ads they’re hurling at people like fluffy little bunnies? The tagline is, “Optimism is contagious.”

They feature some poor schlub – supposedly “one of us” – riffing about their particular field and how uplifting it is. Then we’re supposed to feel inspired to change the world ourselves.

But first, we have to stop for a cup of freshly brewed Maxwell House coffee!

First of all, if they’re on television schilling for Big Business, they’re no longer “one of us”. Second, I don’t feel inspired by overly optimistic people, just the opposite in fact.

“Optimism is contagious.”

Yeah, right.

So is leprosy.

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