#116: Ridiculous Advertising Claims!

Yes, in general the entire advertising world is nuts – just watch Mad Men – but I’m referring to specific claims.

“BEYOND YOUR IMAGINATION!”

That was the claim I saw flash before my eyes this morning as I watched  Breakfast Television – the wife’s favorite morning show – and a commercial for the stage production of Warhorse slapped me in the cerebral cortex.

There is actually something beyond my imagination?  Really?
Is that even possible?

I mean, a World War One play centered on a boy and his horse seems simple enough to me – on its face, at least – but even if I’m wrong, just how wildly imaginative could it possibly be? Is the War Horse revealed to be Pegasus in the third act?

I may be constructing a mountain out of a molehill here, but I have a valid point, don’t I?

I’m asking a lot of question this time around, aren’t I?  At any rate, we’re constantly being bombarded with commercials that promise to change our entire life (and beyond!) through the use of magical products and events. At this point they might as well just promise us anything…

“DRINK THIS AND ACHIEVE INSTANT IMMORTALITY!”

“USE THIS DETERGENT AND YOU CLOTHES WILL BE RENDERED FIREPROOF!”

“THIS ENERGY BAR WILL NOT ONLY GIVE YOU SUPERHUMAN STRENGTH, IT WILL MAKE YOU SEXUALLY SUPERIOR TO EVERY OTHER HUMAN ON THE PLANET!  NO WAIT, WE MEANT THE ENTIRE MULTIVERSE!”

“LADIES, THESE CLOTHES WILL MAKE YOU A DEAD RINGER FOR A KARDASHIAN! VENEREAL DISEASE AND WHINY, WANNABE GANGSTA BOYFRIEND INCLUDED!

I could go on, but my brain is melting….