It’s a tough time to be a modern Alpha Male. There are challenges around every corner. And now even breakfast is poised to change, perhaps forever…
A British farming organization is predicting a worldwide shortage of bacon and pork next year. The National Pig Association says global drought conditions are driving up the price of grain, a major staple in hog feed. This has caused farmers to thin their herds in order to cover their rising overhead.
For some bacon lovers, the end result is too terrifying to consider…
- No more “Bacon and Eggs” on restaurant menus?
- No more chocolate-covered bacon at state fairs?
- No more bacon vodka?
What has happened to the world?
Governments are actually reacting to this looming crisis: the US government has introduced a pork-buying program in a bid to keep its pig farmers in business, and the Chinese are putting pork into cold storage, as a buffer against shortages and high prices next year. There are millions of homeless people all over the world, but the possibility of a bacon shortage has governments scrambling.
I love humanity.
I have the best readers in the world.
- When I asked you to read my blog, you answered: I have over 1,000 readers between both blogs!
- When I asked you to download my book, you did so: 6,059 downloads in total!
- You even sent your good wishes my way when I was stricken down with the flu.
Now I need your help again. I know, I know, I’m needy…
Steven and Chris is a Canadian talk show that covers all the bases, from cooking, home decor (both hosts are design gurus), fashion, health to the usual celebrity appearances. Steven Sabados and Chris Hyndman never acknowledge it on-screen, but they’re a couple – and it shows! Their chemistry sets the show apart from the pack (it seems like there is a million talk shows out there these days, right?) and millions of Canadians – of both genders – love them.
Naturally, an appearance on their show would breathe life into my barely-breathing writing career. And so I turn to you.
I need your help to convince the powers-that-be at Steven and Chris that The Hook would make a worthwhile guest. I may not seem like an ideal fit for their genre, but I guarantee every single member of their audience has stayed in a hotel at least once in the past. My work appeals to EVERYONE. I just need to convince Steven and Chris of that!
firstname.lastname@example.org is their e-mail address and I’ve taken the liberty of preparing a short statement that you can “cut and paste”. I can be very thoughtful sometimes, right?
I am a fan of the Canadian bellman/author Robert Hookey, also known as “The Hook”. I think his particular brand of humor would appeal to your audience. His first book, The Bellman Chronicles, contains subject matter that everyone can relate to. Not only that, he’s housebroken, which is always a plus…
Appearing on this show would launch me to a whole other level – and hopefully allow me to sell more than 100 books! Perhaps I could even eat at a restaurant that doesn’t have a drive-thru window… Maybe.
I’d also like to extend an offer to anyone who decides to give me a few minutes of their time; if you can spare some time to help me out, I’d be open to hosting a guest post. If anyone has a tale of a vacation gone awry, or anything funny, let me know!
Thank you in advance, folks. You rock.
TIME FOR OTHER BUSINESS..
A shout-out to my newest blog buddy, Kristen Lamb and her best-selling tome, We Are Not Alone: The Writer’s Guide to Social Media. Give it a try, folks. You won’t be disappointed…
- Want To See The Hook on Steven and Chris? The Hook Does… (youvebeenhooked.wordpress.com)
- Group warns of looming world wide bacon shortage (1045wfla.com)
- Group warns of looming world wide bacon shortage (schnittshow.com)