#27: Hairless Cats! AND….100,000 Hits! AWESOME!

I realize they are God’s creatures and thus worthy of respect, but I have a major problem with this species of feline.

They freak me out, simple as that.

They resemble a raw piece of chicken – with bug eyes and claws.

FREAKY, RIGHT? Image by Wikipedia.

HOOK’S NOTE: We interrupt our regularly scheduled countdown of all things terrible to bring you this important announcement. Well, its important to me, anyway!

November 19, 2010: A neophyte blogger named The Hook decides to crack the spine on a new blog, The Book of Terrible.

The polar opposite of another blog which will remain nameless, The Hook’s new home forgoes the process of celebrating the “AWESOME!” and instead highlights the joy one can experience from spotlighting the“TERRIBLE!”

Less than one year later, I’ve written a few hundred posts – while making more than a few mistakes along the way – and I’ve learned a thing or two about blogging and life in general.

• NEVER PISS OFF A GIRLFRIEND WHO WRITES A BLOG!  You’ll be  paying for years. Seriously.
• KEEP HITTING THE SPELL CHECK!  Even then, you could screw up, but don’t stop trying!
• GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT!  My format change from pop culture rants to “terrible countdown” was prompted by my realization that people want to laugh about shared experiences like the frustration we all feel when someone can’t shut up during a movie. I hate that!
• BLOG BECAUSE YOU WANT TO.  When it becomes an obligation or an addcition, its time to go back to using your computer to surf porn.
• NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF NOSTALGIA.  My most successful post focussed on the “old” Catwoman Julie Newmar’s opinion  on the new Catwoman Anne Hathaway. People love to revisit their youth; the memory is always better than the actual experience.

Flickr

In closing, a heartfelt “Thank You” to all of my visitors. Whether you’re a subscriber, a casual reader or someone who was just looking for naked pictures of Laura Calder – and there are a lot of you out there – you have my eternal gratitude for stopping by.

With any luck you’ll be reading the print version of The Book of Terrible and You’ve Been Hooked! by this time next year. We can’t let the “AWESOME!” people have complete control of the  book world, can we?

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#79: When “They” Mess With Your Favorite Film Franchise!

By “They”, I mean the douchebags-in-suits who run what is laughingly still referred to as Hollywood these days .

Films, and by extension, filmmakers, had artistic integrity in the “good old days” and it shone through in the finished celluloid product. These days, the studios hire over-priced consultants to tell them what’s “hip with the young people”, and they force directors and screenwriters follow suit.

Take the furor over latest Catwoman costume worn by Anne Hathaway in the upcoming Batman flick, The Dark Knight Rises. People are completely pissed off by the exclusion of the sultry thief’s trademark cat ears, and we can only hope the studio listens.

NBC’s failed Wonder Woman pilot was supposedly sunk by the alterations to the Amazon Princess’ iconic costume and origin. Even Halle Berry‘s horrible Catwoman flick would have been better if her costume was more traditional. It probably still would have tanked, but a better outfit would have helped!

Legions of Star Wars fans waited sixteen years for their Lord and master George Lucas to deliver unto them a new masterpeice.

What they got was kicked in the nads by The Phantom Menace! Of course, they still gave Lucas all their money and continue to do so, but the point is still valid. People are incredibly loyal to film franchises and studios often exploit this fact to increase their bottom line.

Peter Jackson’s upcoming duo of Hobbit films should prove to be an intersting study in studio/fanboy relations. I only hope Jackson shows his fans more respect than Lucas ever did.

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Charlie Won’t Shut Up And Oscar Failed To Entertain!

He’s experiencing a renaissance most actors can only dream of: after years of bad movies, a hit first-run television sitcom falls in his lap, beautiful women with no inhibitions or self-esteem are throwing themselves at him like tweens on a lock of Justin Bieber’s hair and he has more money than God!

Why then does Charlie Sheen insist on sabotaging a role that only requires he show up on time and play himself for a few weeks a year?

In an interview with NBC’s Jeff Rossen that aired on TODAY Monday morning, Sheen put himself in a select Hollywood group that includes the late Farrah Fawcett and Joaquin Phoenix. Namely, actors that seem hell-bent on destroying their legacy of solid performances with erratic, self-destructive behaviour.

Sheen lashed out at his Two and a Half Men co-stars, who their credit, have been unusually silent so far,  “It’s everybody thinks I should be begging for my job back, and I’m just going to forewarn them that it’s everybody else that’s going to be begging me for their job back.”

And he even took cheap shots at total strangers, claiming he is nothing like the average addict or alcoholic, who he says lack his strength of character, describing them as “fools, trolls. Weak. Defeated. They allowed defeat to be an option. I will not.”

The interview just gets weirder and more pathetic from there and Today is planning on airing more tomorrow morning. I’m betting they stretch the whole thing out for a week; Charlie’s latest meltdown is ratings gold.

And of course TMZ.com was all over the story, with Sheen actually granting them a poolside interview after Today! Unfortunately, it cost him his longtime publicist Stan Rosenfield, who resigned immediately after and issued the following statement: “I have worked with Charlie Sheen for a long time and I care about him very much. However, at this time, I’m unable to work effectively as his publicist and have respectfully resigned.”

Lindsay Lohan is going to have to launch a career as a girls-only porn star to top this one.

Speaking of lesbians, Anne Hathaway made a lesbian joke at the Oscars that fell flat, as did the opening sequence that completely ripped off Billy Crystal’s innovative routine from years gone by. There’s talk of bringing actual comedians back into the fold next year, (something they probably would have done if the Academy wasn’t so afraid of another Ricky Gervais incident) but we’ll have to see.

It was pretty cool that Hollywood vet Kirk Douglas stole the show (and after a stroke no less!) and proved ad-libbing beats the hell out of the work of a bunch of sweaty geeks who still live in their mom’s basement!

Personally, I thought Hathaway and James Franco did a solid job in roles that are always hit and miss at best. They should have pulled a Gervais and just cut loose on their fellow stars – the public would have loved it and screw the celebrities who can’t laugh at themselves! If the Academy want the Oscars to survive they’re going to have to take drastic action.

I’m sure they can land Charlie Sheen for next year’s broadcast.

COSTUMES LIKE THIS AND THE RATINGS STILL SUCKED?

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Anne Hathaway As A Batman Baddie? A Former Catwoman Says Yes!

Image via Wikipedia

She’s kept her public image pretty clean so far, but now Anne Hathaway is going to get dirty – Gotham City dirty, that is.

Except for a romance with an Italian real-estate developer who was charged with  fleecing investors out of millions , Hathaway has always kept the public’s attention focussed on her acting, not her life.

Her acting will definitely be in the spotlight soon.

Comic book fans are territorial when it comes to the portrayal of their favorite characters, even villains. Michelle Pfeiffer was an acceptable Selina Kyle in Batman Returns, but Halle Berry was given a Razzie award for her 2005 portrayal that appeared to drown the hopes for a Catwoman franchise once and for all.

Now, thanks to the phenomenal success of Christopher Nolan’s Batman series, Catwoman will return to tease Christian Bale when The Dark Knight Rises in 2012.

She’ll be joined by Brit actor Tom Hardy who’ll be portraying one of Batman’s most formidable and complex foes, Bane.

Arguably Hardy’s role will draw the most attention, as Bane has appeared before in the abomination that was 1997′s Batman and Robin, in which the character was portrayed as a hulking thug barely capable of stringing two words together.   

Critics and fans were not impressed.

As for Hathaway, she does have one strong voice in her corner. Julie Newmar, considered by many to be the greatest Catwoman of them all, tells The Los Angeles Times All The Rage blog that she approves of her latest successor. “She’s going to be marvelous,” says Newmar.

Image by Chris D 2006 via Flickr

Nolan, Hathaway and Hardy have a chance to do right by these great characters, a sentiment they’ll be hearing in the near future if they head to the convention circuit to plug the upcoming film. Comic conventions, especially the San Diego Comic-Con International, can make or break a film’s chances of generating a positive buzz before hitting the multiplexes.

I know Anne Hathaway has worked for Disney and is used to crowds, but if she hasn’t hit Comic-Con before, then she’s seen nothing yet. With massive crowds exceeding 125,000 over four days, the event is so popular that 4-day passes with access to Preview night for the 2011 Convention sold out two hours before the 2010 convention closed.

Even with a cat’s nine lives, Halle Berry wouldn’t make it out alive.

Image via Wikipedia

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