For those who haven’t been keeping up-to-date on the activities of the “It” Girl of the month, (seriously, Ms. Paltrow is EVERYWHERE these days!), raised quite a few eyebrows – and other body parts, I’m sure – when she donned a dress with sheer side panels, and no underwear, this week while walking the red carpet at the Iron Man 3 premiere.
Gwyneth discussed the incident while appearing on Ellen this week: “Yeah, Oh, I kind of had a disaster. I was doing a show and I changed there and I went I couldn’t wear underwear. … Well, let’s just say everyone went scrambling for a razor…So I went from being the most beautiful to the most humiliated. In one day.”
Personally, I think it could have been worse; even bad publicity can be good for one’s career. (Think about it for a moment: when was the last time you considered Reese Witherspoon before she mouthed off at the fuzz?)
Here are some ways Ms. Paltrow could have truly gone haywire while on the red carpet…
1) Those side panels could have been positioned on top of the dress.
2) Justin Bieber could have whisked her off the red carpet and taken her to Germany where authorities would have no doubt confiscated her…
3) She could have been voted most “Bootylicious Celebrity” by “Crazy White Chicks” magazine.
4) Mario Batali could have been her date. (That guy irks me. I find him irksome)
5) Taylor Swift could have been her date. (Swift has dated everyone else in Hollywood.)
6) Gwyneth could have announced her newest literary project: 200 pages of her weekly shopping lists. (Because let’s face it, people buy anything written by certain celebrities.)
7) She could have announced she was pregnant and that her new child would be named”Iron” and “Man”. (She has two kids named Apple and Moses.)
8) Ms. Paltrow could have initiated a make-out session with brother Jake. (Hey, it worked for Angelina!)
9) She could have announced her intentions to sign a contract with Vivid Video to star in a series of films entitled “Through The Back Door With Gwyneth.”
10) She could have started singing.
Have a happy weekend, folks!