Here are my thoughts on what’s happening in the world right now.
1) Wills and Kate are roughing it at Diana’s former home as construction winds down on their 21-room townhouse. Seriously, 21 rooms? Has the divide between the Haves and Have-Nots (Rest in peace middle-class. You had a good run.), been more prominent or publicized?
I recently met a family who, until last year, was homeless. They moved from place to place, directionless and void of hope.
They slept in a friend’s garage.
They huddled together in an abandoned building. Ironically, it was a school.
They even occupied a broken-down bus.
Twelve months later, they’re back on their feet and enjoying a modest vacation to Niagara Falls. God bless the resilience of the human spirit.
I couldn’t help but pick their collective brain.
“We wish them well, of course, but they make us sick.” the mother confessed, her candor a refreshing tonic to the BS solution I’m normally force-fed.
“We’ve been asking ourselves just why certain children are born to the rich and given a life of privilege and others are abandoned to a life full of struggle.” the well-read father pondered aloud.
“Struggle isn’t as bad as it seems,” I replied “at least it builds character. Although, I certainly wouldn’t wish your last year on anyone.”
“You’re right about one thing,” he paused, gathering his thoughts, “it certainly taught our children to appreciate everything they have. Will this new prince understand what it means to go to bed hungry? To work for something you truly need, rather than something you want? Will he get it, I wonder?”
As do we all.
2) Detroit has declared bankruptcy. Boy, I didn’t see that one coming. Why do I have the feeling that, assuming it was within their near-unlimited power, the One Percenters would simply push a button and erase the entire city from the face of the Earth?
3) Amanda Bynes is in trouble again. How long before the inevitable television movie? Is there anyone who can rein int his once-promising young actress? Her parents are reportedly trying to gain control of her affairs, but it may be a case of too little, too late. This girl needs a hug. Or a smack. I’m not sure which, though admittedly, both would be helpful.
4) More than 1,000 detainees escaped from a prison near the eastern Libyan city of Benghazi in a massive jailbreak Saturday. Once again, I get the feeling we’re teetering on the edge of the abyss, people.
5) The Wolverine is currently slicing its way through megaplexes. I’ve seen it. So should you. And stick around for the mind-blowing post-credits scene. Trust me.
6) Justin Bieber’s mom Pattie Mallete recently did a book signing in Toronto. This.. I don’t know what to call her, honestly, has now “written” two autobiographies: Nowhere But Up: The Story of Justin Bieber’s Mom and Nowhere But Up: Teen Edition.
Note to self: seek out time machine and travel to not-so-distant past to correct one of Fate’s greatest mistakes.
7) Kim Kardashian, Kanye West Didn’t Give North a K-Name to Avoid KKK Comparison. This was probably a good idea. People hate these two yahoos enough as it is.
8) The Syfy network has announced a sequel to Sharknado. I’m not sure I want to live in a world where Sharknado, a film about a series of tornadoes that drop sharks all over LA, is a bonafide hit.
9) Campgrounds at a California national park have been closed after officials found a plague-infested squirrel. The squirrel was trapped earlier this month and found to be infected with the bacteria that causes plague — also known as the Black Death that is estimated to have wiped out up to 50% of the European population in the 14th and 15th centuries.
Who says God doesn’t have a sense of humor?
Our end may be coming from the most unexpected place in the most unexpected form, folks…
10) Anthony Weiner. Just. Won’t. Quit. I’d almost admire his tenacity – if he wasn’t so horribly perverted.
This has been your latest dose of terrible goodness.
Good day and have a pleasant tomorrow.