#137: Waiting For My Favorite Heroes To Assemble…

Do you realize I still have four more sleeps until Marvel Studios allows the Avengers to assemble at my local Cineplex theatre?

Marvel Studios (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 I have been waiting for this film since I was an actual fanboy, never mind a forty-year-old father! I need the diversion and the emotional boost that can only come from watching one’s childhood heroes brought to life on the big screen more than ever these days.

 Wish me luck on my vigil, will you?

 

The Avengers (2012 film) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

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#142: Being Human…

We tend to forget Clark Kent is a writer.

Okay, he’s actually a journalist, but you get the point; he’s a creative individual. Not only that, he’s the Ultimate Creative Genius; able to write at superhuman speed while still finding time to leap tall buildings in a single bound!

I do not possess super-speed. I cannot formulate a blog post in my Kryptonian brain while foiling Lex Luthor’s latest scheme. My tiny human brain has found itself overwhelmed of late by my many challenges. Such as…

• Working full-time carting luggage around for ungrateful tourists.
• Supporting – and occasionally enjoying – a family.
• Writing  and maintaining You’ve been Hooked!
• Writing and maintaining The Book of Terrible.
• Creating and launching weekly column for Bullet News Niagara.
• Launching and promoting my first – and hopefully not last – book, The Bellman Chronicles.
• And finally, attending a movie and comic convention here and there!

If I was concealing a tenth of Mr. Kent’s awesome power, maybe I’d have a shot at maintaining all of the responsibilities I’ve chosen to shoulder. However,  I am but a  mere mortal – I know, it saddens my wife, she was hoping to land a vampire – who has been forced to concede defeat.

As you are well aware, my productivity has taken a hit of late and it does not appear the situation is going to improve any time soon. To say the very least. I’m certain many of you have reached this conclusion in regards to your own hectic schedules; there simply aren’t enough hours in a single day to do it all.

Tom Welling as Superman/Clark Kent. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Whether it’s a dream or a loved one, something always suffers when we take on a foe outside our power set.

Sorry, the comic book analogies just come so naturally, I can’t resist.

At any rate, while I have not thrown in the proverbial, blogging towel just yet I have found myself forced to scale back my WordPress activities… for a little while, at least. Ironically, it was my blogs that inspired me to write a book and pursue an online column in the first place.

To wrap this rambling mess up, I’ll still be around folks; just in small doses. And as always, I’ll pop up occasionally on other blogs. keep in touch, okay?

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#152: People Who Still Think Being A Geek Is A Bad Thing!

Sadly, these people still walk among us, even in 2012.

They think being a fan boy or girl is somehow linked to a person’s social standing or worth; as if an individual who stands in line for hours – or even days – to get into a convention is any different than someone who lines up for concert tickets or to get into a Coach store.

Personally, I have more respect for the young lady who spends her cash on a convention ticket that will lead to lifelong memories than the vapid, soulless wench who spends $300 of Daddy’s money on a purse!

Nevertheless, the terms “geek” and fan boy’ will forever be linked to individuals who..

• Refuse to leave Mom’s basement. What if she’s a really great cook?
• Have never had a real date that didn’t charge them.
• Just can’t seem to purchase t-shirts without a licensed character adorning the front or back.
• Refuse to immerse themselves in the ordinary.

Well, I’ll tell you something, folks, The Hook is proud to call himself a fan boy – even at 42! In those four decades, I have…

• Lived on my own. But I’ll take a meal from Mom anytime!
• Never paid for “romance”.
• Purchased run-of-the-mill clothing as well as superhero themed apparel. I just wear the Flash t-shirts underneath!
• Lived a life of balance; I just take the family with me to the comic conventions. The wife loves to meet actors who portray vampires!

I mentioned the year for a reason folks; in 2012 fan boys have achieved the following…

• They’ve created a venue that sells over 130,000 tickets six months in advance of opening. The San Diego Comic-Con International has become the place to be for Hollywood execs searching for the next big franchise or to launch new projects. 
  

  Image via Wikipedia

  
  

• The young geeks who have left Mom’s basement are the new wave of filmmakers whose projects bring in big bucks for Tinsel Town.
• These same fan boys and girls are no longer dependent upon hookers for dates. Although they can now afford the really classy ones!
• Comics and sci-fi projects have influenced pop culture and even fashion for years now. Yes, even fashion!
• It’s now cool for a musician or screenwriter to say they’re working on the next Batman or Spiderman flick!
  

  Image via Wikipedia

  And finally….

• Actors actually WANT to be cast in superhero films! They lead to franchises which ensure a steady paycheck for years. What’s not to  like?

ON A PERSONAL NOTE…

June 9. 2012 10 A.M – 7 P.M.
Scotiabank Convention Centre
Niagara Falls. Ontario. Canada

For full details, click here, fan boys and girls!

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#158: The “Very Special Issue” of Comics!

Years ago, The Drew Carey Show mocked the modern-day television convention of the “Very Special Episode”.

I feel the “Very Special Issue” is a comic book convention that deserves to not only be mocked, but beaten, tortured and buried alive.

Why do I feel so strongly? The answer is obvious, really.

I need blog fodder, lots of it.

But I’ve also been inspired by “Buffy The Vampire Slayer: Season Nine” #6, a comic book that picks up where the Buffy TV series left off, with the young, blond hottie slaying the undead – when she’s not banging them – and stumbling her way though life.

Drama and female angst has always been a MAJOR component to the Buffy mythos and this issue is no exception.

And so in one single panel everyone’s favorite vamp hunter ups her drama quotient and draws in mainstream attention from every corner of the media, including feminists and plain ‘ol fanboys like me.

And this isn’t the first time Buffy has resorted to such tactics.

 

 Of course, Buffy eventually went back to a sausage diet – as evidenced by the abortion stunt – but the creators captured the media’s attention, which helped support sales of the then-fledgling Season 8 comic.

In fairness, Joss Whedon has always delivered a superior product and that is in part, attributable to his knowledge of the market; the man-child knows what sells. He gives his creation a plausible motivation for her decision…

But what about the big picture? These publicity stunts rarely contribute to the greater good of the character – unless Buffy keeps the baby it’ll be business as usual in no time – and so the fans are left asking the same question over and over.

What was the point?

#168: When Companies Go Back To The Well…

…of their greatest success – to make even more money.

Watchmen: The Feature-Film tanked – big time. Watchmen: The Groundbreaking Comic Book Series was a ridiculously HUGE success, so while the following press release from DC Comics is a shock in some ways, it makes perfect financial sense.

This summer, DC Entertainment will publish all-new stories expanding on the acclaimed WATCHMEN universe. As highly anticipated as they are controversial, the seven inter-connected prequel mini-series will build on the foundation of the original WATCHMEN, the bestselling graphic novel of all time. BEFORE WATCHMEN will be the collective banner for all seven titles, from DC Comics.

I guess no one at DC has seen..

•  The Star Wars prequels.
• Return to Oz.
• Predator 2.
• Terminator: Salvation.
• Road House 2.
• The Matrix sequels.

Then again, some of these films – especially The Phantom Menace and its ilk – have brought in big bucks for the property-holders, so of course the well is going to be revisited time and again. DC, has of course, taken the high road and said it’s “all about the fans” and the creative growth of the company.

“It’s our responsibility as publishers to find new ways to keep all of our characters relevant,” said DC Entertainment Co-Publishers Dan DiDio and Jim Lee. “After twenty five years, the Watchmen are classic characters whose time has come for new stories to be told. We sought out the best writers and artists in the industry to build on the complex mythology of the original.”

Let’s get one thing straight: I understand DC is in business to make cold, hard cash at superhuman speeds whenever possible. At $3.99 an issue (the current price for DC Comics with back-up stories) the 35 chapters of Before Watchmen will cost $139.65 to read. If they can use some of that money to give back – which they do – then that’s even better, for everyone.

But I’m still shocked. As was Watchmen co-creator Alan Moore who long ago cut ties between himself and DC Comics and the industry at large, and who called the new venture “completely shameless.”

Image via Wikipedia

Mr. Moore told the New York Times, “I tend to take this latest development as a kind of eager confirmation that they are still apparently dependent on ideas that I had 25 years ago.” 

The legendary – and quite frankly, scary-looking -  Mr. Moore says that the endeavor only weakens the argument that comics are an authentic form of literature.

“As far as I know,” he said, “there weren’t that many prequels or sequels to ‘Moby-Dick.’ ” While he was unaware of DC’s specific plans for Before Watchmen, – no surprise given Moore’s public bashing of most of the film versions of his work – Mr. Moore said he has over the years resisted overtures from the publisher to approve sequel or prequel projects. Still, he says he won’t stand in the way of Before Watchmen or fight the project in court, where he said DC Comics would meet him with an “infinite battery of lawyers.”

Apparently the legal system is Moore’s kryptonite.

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#170: Companies That Don’t Do THIS Often Enough…

Let’s face it, in these trying – to say the least – economic times most of us are trying to do more with much less, right?

Not Big Business.

Oh sure, they cry poor all…  the… time, but the reality is a different story entirely.

• Major players still make billions from brand loyalty and the public’s obsession with “Keeping up with the Joneses”. Or is it the Kardashians these days?
• Upper management still accepts ridiculously huge bonuses and stock options – no matter what shape the company is in.
• If the bottom line is in  jeopardy, the first cuts are made at ground level. The “little guy” can afford the cut, right?
• Big Business has one goal: advance the profit margin at all costs. A “slow year” will simply not be accepted!

So where am I going with this? I want to show you how one powerhouse corporation is giving back. I wanted to establish just how extraordinary it is for a North American company to do so when most of them seem driven to protect their own necks at all costs.

Take a look at this and then we’ll talk.

 Here’s part of the official press release from DC. I know it’s “Corporate America dreck”, but at least they’re trying. This is proof  you can direct your marketing campaigns in a direction that’s beneficial to others – if you really try.

 

 DC ENTERTAINMENT ANNOUNCES “WE CAN BE HEROES,”
AN UNPRECEDENTED GIVING CAMPAIGN TO FIGHT
THE HUNGER CRISIS IN THE HORN OF AFRICA

 Featuring Iconic Justice League Characters, Multilayered Campaign
To Leverage All Time Warner Advertising Platforms
Generating Significant Awareness of the Crisis

Multi-Million-Dollar Commitment Will Support
Three Aid Groups Working in Africa:
Save the Children, International Rescue Committee and Mercy Corps

The current hunger crisis in the Horn of Africa.is all too real: the region is suffering its worst drought and famine in over 60 years, with 13 million in need of critical assistance and 250,000 facing starvation in Somalia alone. 

 

From the  DC press release, We Can Be Heroes will be supported via promotional exposure across all of Time Warner’s divisional advertising platforms (Warner Bros., Turner Broadcasting, Time Inc., HBO), generating millions of consumer impressions and creating crucially needed awareness of this crisis worldwide.  Save the Children, International Rescue Committee and Mercy Corps will equally share a corporate donation of at least $2 million over the next two years comprised of cash donations, employee matching funds and consumer matching funds. 

 

 A key launch element of We Can Be Heroes is the campaign’s website, WeCanBeHeroes.org.  Here, consumers can make donations which DC Entertainment will match 100 percent (up to $1 million in donations), purchase specially branded merchandise, with 50 percent of the purchase price going to fight the hunger crisis via We Can Be Heroes,  sign up for newsletters and updates, and join the We Can Be Heroes online community.  The site will also feature information on each of the partner organizations and updates on current conditions in the Horn of Africa. 

 

 

 For fanboys this is an opportunity to score some cool swag while actually contributing something of value to the world – all from the comfort of their parents’ basement.

 

 

 

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#176: DC Comics “New Coke” Approach To Their Logo!

 

First they overhauled their entire universe and launched the “New 52″.

This has actually worked out – so far – and sales are very  healthy so enough said.

Now however, they’ve redesigned their company logo and set off a division in their fan base.

I can see what they’re going for here; there’s a Watchmen inspired logo and  Green Lantern emerald power logo but the rest have me stumped. Still, it’s their company, they can do what they like with their logo. I just hope they don’t pull a “New Coke” and piss off their fans before returning to the status quo a few months later.

Image via Wikipedia

 

 Take a close look at the DC logos below: you can see a smooth evolution between designs through the years, something that is now missing. The new looks suggest the “D” is peeling back from the funky “C”.

Some observers are suggesting the new logos are symbolic of a regime change at the comic book giant, I hope this isn’t the case; company politics shouldn’t spill over to the finished product… ever. Parent company Warner Bros. may be sending a message to their #1 competitor, Marvel Comics owners Disney.

If the boys in suits want Bugs Bunny and Mickey Mouse want to duke it out, fine. Just keep it in the funny pages, won’t you, boys?

Other observers are suggesting someone simply fell asleep at the switch and forgot that a comic book company’s logo should reflect their fun and creative attitude.

Personally, I love this one…

 

 

 

 

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#182: When You Find Yourself In The Dark…

 Quite literally!

 

Most of us will never qualify as electrical engineers, but we should have the basic skills necessary to navigate our way through a situation such as a blackout.

 

But we don’t.

Let’s assume, of course, that said blackout occurs in the evening (wouldn’t really be a “blackout” otherwise, right?) and we’re nowhere near an alternative source of illumination. What happens now?

• Panic: If you’re alone, it’s no big deal but if you’re with your spouse, you’ll want to contain the desire to squeal like a little girl! Unless you are a little girl, then feel free to cut loose.
• Hesitation: People tend to freeze immediately during blackouts. If you’re already in bed you can probably just sit tight. Unless you have kids and they freak out, then good luck calming them down you poor bastard. We’ll usually only get up because our partner nags, I mean spurs us to action!

Then the real fun begins…

• If you have any handy, you can expose yourself to toxic waste in the hope you’ll develop a “radar sense” like the Marvel Comics hero Daredevil. Of course this is highly unlikely; it takes time for such a radical transformation to occur.

Image via Wikipedia

• Left to your own devices, you’ll stumble about until instinct will kick-in and your big toe will seek out the closest object with which to impact!
• You’ll curse until your breath runs out or your spouse finally succeeds in shutting you up.
• Any moonlight through yonder windows will hopefully guide you to a flashlight usually kept under the kitchen sink so have fun knocking over various household chemicals – and then you can discover the batteries have expired! You know they will, it happens every time.
• If you’re feeling exceptionally brave, you can seek out matches and candles and start the wonderful process of trying to light a match in the dark.

Let’s assume you’ve managed to find a way to light your path to the dreaded cellar and you’ve made your way to the basement – the scariest part of the house in a blackout. At this point we also have to assume that your home is the only one affected by this scenario, otherwise you’d be really foolish to waste your time – not to mention risking your life – heading to the basement!

So, you’re in the basement, you’ve stumbled a dozen  more times – even with a source of light – and now you’re facing your breaker box.

What the hell do you do now?

I don’t know about you, but I’m not even sure I have extra fuses in my basement, never mind if I’m competent enough to change them while in panic-mode! To be honest, I have swapped out a fuse before, but they’re usually in there pretty tight and a good deal of cursing is necessary to pry them loose!

Seriously, cursing helps.

To The Gypsy That Remains…

HOOK’S NOTE: Time for an interlude dedicated to my maker. 

The road has been far from smooth… The journey far from uneventful.

The rain fell all too often, and shelter wasn’t always available. But you persevered and your example proved illuminating in my darkest days.  I am the sum of many parts; the two women who raised me, the creators of my true love and of course, my soul mate. Together you’ve all shown me what it means to be a man, son, father and husband.

As my journey began, I longed for nothing; the staples of childhood – toys, “funny books”, etc – were always there. As was love.

More than most will ever know.

You were far from perfect, but that only served as an example of how fragile we all really are. I will never forget the day you brought a little boy two hours from his home and delivered him unto the Promised Land: the place where all his dream came to life in full-color.

  

You’ve worn many hats and gone by many names..

• To some, you were a punching bag.
• Others saw you as a source of income.
• Grandma called you “Gypsy”.
• I always called you “friend” and… Mom.

Happy Birthday.

#5: Kids That Declare: “I’M BORED!”

Never let it be said that The Hook is unsympathetic to the plight of the Modern Kid; I realize kids have challenges that range from minor (convincing their parents to fork over their hard-earned cash for Justin Bieber concert tickets) to major (bullying, broken homes, etc.) but this a lighthearted jab at the modern rugrat, so let’s get silly,  shall we?

I know a child – who shall remain nameless in order to ensure my safety – that has the following items in her room..

• A big-screen plasma TV.
• A digital receiver.
• A DVD player and over 100  movies and various TV series boxed sets.
• Hundreds of books – of both the comic and novel variety.
• An iPad.
• Dozens of Barbies (Twilight, DC Comics superheroines, etc.)
• A laptop.
• Several portable video game devices and games.
• An iPod touch.

And that’s just the swag I know about! Despite this wealth of devices  designed to fill hundreds of hours of a child’s carefree existence, she will still periodically declare, “I’M BORED!”

I fondly recall the days of my carefree youth, when we rode bikes and drew fresh air into our young bodies. My summer routine was simple: I would get up at 9 am, eat a hearty breakfast of sugary cereal and hit the open road on my ten-speed. I’d be gone all day!

Of course, those days are long gone, A parent can’t let their child just gallavant like a vagabond until dinner, not in this world filled with monsters lurking around every corner.

But that’s a terrible fact to be explored another day.

As for children who feel they’re hard done by, they simply need to be reminded of just what they have - and how easily it can be taken away.