For the uninitiated in all things redneck reality star: Duck Dynasty star and disgustingly-wealthy mogul Phil Robertson has been put on indefinite hiatus (uh oh!) by A&E after making anti-gay remarks in the January issue of GQ.
“Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men,” he says. Then he paraphrases Corinthians: “Don’t be deceived. Neither the adulterers, the idolaters, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers — they won’t inherit the kingdom of God. Don’t deceive yourself. It’s not right.”
He goes on to say, “It seems like, to me,” a woman “would be more desirable …That’s just me. I’m just thinking: There’s more there! She’s got more to offer. I mean, come on, dudes! You know what I’m saying? But hey, sin: It’s not logical, my man. It’s just not logical.”
“We are extremely disappointed to have read Phil Robertson’s comments in GQ, which are based on his own personal beliefs and are not reflected in the series Duck Dynasty,” A&E said in a statement to USA TODAY. “His personal views in no way reflect those of A+E Networks, who have always been strong supporters and champions of the LGBT community. The network has placed Phil under hiatus from filming indefinitely.”
Damage control time, kids!
“I myself am a product of the 60s; I centered my life around sex, drugs and rock and roll until I hit rock bottom and accepted Jesus as my Savior. My mission today is to go forth and tell people about why I follow Christ and also what the bible teaches, and part of that teaching is that women and men are meant to be together.
“However, I would never treat anyone with disrespect just because they are different from me. We are all created by the Almighty and like Him, I love all of humanity. We would all be better off if we loved God and loved each other.”
Personally, I’ve been waiting for the other shoe to drop for some time in regards to Robertson and his swamp spawn. I knew the Robertson clan wasn’t as perfect as A&E would have us believe. I’m not judging, mind you.
I’m here to mock.
1) “I’m off my own show for making inappropriate remarks? Can those homos do that?”
2) “Where’s my shotgun, ma?”
3) “So what? I’m still a filthy rich redneck – thank God!”
4) “What does ‘indefinite hiatus’ even mean?”
5) “I’ve got that Palin broad on my side, I’m good.”
6) “Why do I say things?”
7) “What year is it, anyway?”
8) “Damn Obama.”
9) “I suppose now they’ll say I can’t hunt the gays either.”