Chris Brown suffered a seizure early Friday morning while he was working at a Los Angeles recording studio, but he was not hospitalized, according to his
As Nicole Perna tells it, the 24-year-old singer suffered a “non-epileptic seizure (NES). …His doctor tended to him this afternoon and attributes the NES to intense fatigue and extreme emotional stress, both due to the continued onslaught of unfounded legal matters and the non-stop negativity.”
What sort of doctor discusses a patient’s legals matters and public perceptions with his patients? Adding to the nutbar factor of this story is this little nugget: shortly after 1 a.m., the L.A. City Fire Department responded to a 911 call placed from the Record Plant studios, but when they arrived, Chris Brown refused treatment and refused to be taken to a hospital.
So how do we know for certain he actually suffered a seizure at all? Reports have suggested he was dehydrated – sounds like a Lindsay Lohan excuse to me – but who really knows what actually happened?
Can you say “PR stunt designed to generate public sympathy”?
Oh well, here are my personal theories on what really prompted this “seizure”.
1) Rihanna finally wised up and had a little “chat” with her ex and abuser.
2) Brown’s mother administered that whuppin’ he earned years ago.
3) Frank Ocean finally caught up with Brown.
4) Drake finally caught up with Brown. (Who hasn’t this guy pissed off?)
5) Brown attempted to speak a coherent sentence.
6) He attempted to decipher the true meaning of LOST.
7) There was a Jersey Shore marathon on MTV.
8) He finally realized he was Chris Brown.
9) Brown actually listened to one of his own songs for the first time.
10) He’s a douche.