For the uninitiated: I am a bellman in Niagara Falls. March Break is upon us.
Pray for me.
1) The name itself has destructive overtones. March Break? It sounds very painful.
2) It was not created by an adult. Seriously, what sane, fully-grown human being would ever conceive such an event? Who in their right mind gives kids a week off a mere two months after Christmas? Their last holiday buzz hasn’t even wore off yet, for Pete’s sake!
3) Cultural convention has ruined this week forever. North American college students feel March Break is the perfect time to eat (a little), drink (A LOT) and be merry (to the point of blacking out), and so we have accepted this behavior as normal. Unfortunately, kids everywhere look up to their older counterparts.
4) “ARE WE THERE YET?” Parents everywhere will be listening to this – until their ears bleed.
5) Automobile accidents. See #4. You try keeping both hands on the wheel and your eyes on the road when you hear the same sentence ad nauseam…..
6) The craziest people seem to be drawn to me. And so they come to Niagara Falls. Its a proven scientific fact. The research is in Canadian scientific journals; right between the advances in back bacon and telepathic snow dogs…
7) Stupid questions from tourists.
- “When do they shut down the Falls?” (Yes, they still ask that one.)
- “Do I have to pay for a bellman?”
- “Hey buddy, where the white women at?”
8) Tylenol’s sales go through the roof. Why does this bother me? I hate to suffer alone…
9) The two most chilling words in the English language – for parents, at least. Say them with me… “I’M BORED!” Admit it, a chill just went down your spine, right?
10) Crazy parents. Many of the parents I meet have the same philosophy: “Let your kids run wild. Someone else will handle it.”
Once again, pray for The Hook. Please.
We live in a recreational area: the lake, a boardwalk with rides and restaurants and free concerts, and almost to the beach. You have my sympathy.
(also a time when new teen drivers talk their parents into letting them have the car for a day. Watch those street crossings, red lights and stop signs – those still mean stop, right? and parking lots at the mall….)
Good advice!
So…when do they shut down the falls?
I’m going to pretend I didn’t read that.
Could you at least tell me where all the white women at then?
The casino down the street from the hotel.
My school is just letting out for spring break. I don’t plan to go anywhere. I wouldn’t dare. So….uncivilized, to quote Kenobi.
Great quote!
Hahahaha! Where the white women at? That’s the first thing I wanna know when I get somewhere.
White women rule – apparently.
Evidently so.
Ha, spring break, Easter break, nothing. It’s all about Schoolies here. Hmm, which probably equates to the same thing….
Pretty much.
“Hey buddy, where the white women at?”
I genuinely don’t even know what that means (yes I’m a foreigner) but it sounds absurd.
Also, hey, kids need a break from their exhaustive school time eh
Exhaustive school time? Kids have it made these days, Pixie!
I don’t think my prayers will do much…stay strong!
They can’t hurt!
Thanks!
Good luck! I will pray for you, naked of course.
Of course!
Sent you an email, check it out when you get some time?
I responded tone from you this morning. Are you referring to another one?
Yeah, sent one about an hour ago
I didn’t get it for some reason! Try again; I have my e-mail open, so I’ll see it for sure. I hope!
Ok, sent! I hope you get this one, my email is driving me nuts
I have it and I’ve replied!
I hope my revision is up to snuff…
I didn’t know Niagara Falls was a hot-spot for Spring Breakers. I will pray for you, then, Robert. Our big destination here is South Padre Island. You couldn’t pay me to go there for all the college students and high school students who end up there. Party Central. Even the radio stations were offering trips there! Shudder!
I feel your pain!
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I love the exodus to the coast ‘cos then we have peace and quiet at home!
Makes sense.