Yes, I know this one is waaay too easy, but I’m going for it anyway.
1) Our hatred is encoded in our DNA. Your parents hated Mondays. Their parents hated Mondays. In fact, the first amphibious member of your line was killed by a predator on a Monday, so there you go. Its in your blood, so don’t bother fighting it.
2) Sundays need to be split into two. You party like it’s 1999 – again – on Saturday. So naturally, you’re barely breathing on Sunday and a single day of rest may have been sufficient for the Good Lord, but it just doesn’t cut it for mere mortals. Renaming Monday and calling it Sunday: Part Two, would solve everything.
3) Hangovers. I’d elaborate, but I have a headache and I’m seeing triple…
4) Waking up with a stranger. Who hasn’t been there, right? Actually, I haven’t, but it hear it sucks…
5) They have the worst PR team this side of the Kardashians. Seriously, who doesn’t hate Mondays? They need some serious damage control, STAT!
6) They are the official day of the kingdom of Hell. I’m fairly certain Lucifer got Mondays as part of his out of court settlement with God. I know I would have surrendered them in a heartbeat if I was the All-Mighty…
7) I haven’t had a single decent Monday in all my years on this mud-ball. That can’t be a coincidence, right?
8) Kanye West, Chris Brown and Lindsay Lohan were all born on a Monday. Don’t bother checking, it’s the only logical explanation for their collective reign of terror.
9) You’re too tired to bother reading this entire post. What more can I say
10) I’m too tired to bother finishing this post. Walk away from the screen and get some rest. You’re tired.