Yes, in general the entire advertising world is nuts – just watch Mad Men – but I’m referring to specific claims.
“BEYOND YOUR IMAGINATION!”
That was the claim I saw flash before my eyes this morning as I watched Breakfast Television – the wife’s favorite morning show – and a commercial for the stage production of Warhorse slapped me in the cerebral cortex.
There is actually something beyond my imagination? Really?
Is that even possible?
I mean, a World War One play centered on a boy and his horse seems simple enough to me – on its face, at least – but even if I’m wrong, just how wildly imaginative could it possibly be? Is the War Horse revealed to be Pegasus in the third act?
I may be constructing a mountain out of a molehill here, but I have a valid point, don’t I?
I’m asking a lot of question this time around, aren’t I? At any rate, we’re constantly being bombarded with commercials that promise to change our entire life (and beyond!) through the use of magical products and events. At this point they might as well just promise us anything…
“DRINK THIS AND ACHIEVE INSTANT IMMORTALITY!”
“USE THIS DETERGENT AND YOU CLOTHES WILL BE RENDERED FIREPROOF!”
“THIS ENERGY BAR WILL NOT ONLY GIVE YOU SUPERHUMAN STRENGTH, IT WILL MAKE YOU SEXUALLY SUPERIOR TO EVERY OTHER HUMAN ON THE PLANET! NO WAIT, WE MEANT THE ENTIRE MULTIVERSE!”
“LADIES, THESE CLOTHES WILL MAKE YOU A DEAD RINGER FOR A KARDASHIAN! VENEREAL DISEASE AND WHINY, WANNABE GANGSTA BOYFRIEND INCLUDED!
I could go on, but my brain is melting….
Thanks for making me choke on my lunch… Love the Pegasus reference. The rest however is beyond even my wildest imagination.
Well said!
You know, I think you’ve got some perverse obsession with Kim Kardashian. She seems to end up in a lot of your posts. Just sayin’…
She brings in the views… Seriously!
So if I make posts making fun of her my views will skyrocket? Hmmmmmmm……….
Isn’t “the horse and his boy” or soemthing like that right out of Narnia???
I agree with TwinDaddy… what’s up with you and the Cardasians?
They’re so terrible, they’re awesome!
the way advertisements are going we should just get up and dive in a pool of strongest bleach and then cut open the stomach and blow torch it to get rid of excess fat…only then will we be ready for the other products
I’m with you – I mean how much whiter can our white clothes actually get?? New improved formulas really get me too – hang on wasn’t this the best toothpaste in all of creation last year, didn’t it protect my teeth from all known bacteria even if I floss with my toilet brush, weren’t my teeth going to be whiter than tipex back then? What has changed? Will I be able to chomp thru plate steel and be able to blind people with a smile? BS – all of it! Nice post.
>I’m asking a lot of question this time around, aren’t I?
- You are? You sure? You want answers?
>DRINK THIS AND ACHIEVE INSTANT IMMORTALITY!”
- DUNNIT! Tis’ how I make a ghastly spectacle, I mean, ghostly spectre, of myself in this realm.
>“USE THIS DETERGENT AND YOU CLOTHES WILL BE RENDERED FIREPROOF!”
- ‘Tis true, too! I am living dead proof. I’m a combo of Audrey Rose + Carrie.
Dunno about the energy bar.
K-West is in KK’s face. And Krazy Kat’s *whistles* are in MY face! Krikey!
>my brain is melting….
- I’m KO-d!
Kate
Please tell me that Charlie Sheen is the one wearing the back half of the horse costume….