#135: Being An Unintentional Voyeur…

As a bellman you see – and hear – some of life’s more interesting moments…

Especially when you’re working the midnight shift and the newspapers arrive. Then the work begins.. And sometimes, if you’re truly lucky, the fun.

  • Up and down the floors with a cart loaded to the top with papers.
  • Up and down the halls with armfuls of said papers.
  • Up and down as you lean over and drop paper after paper…

Until…. You hear it… That unmistakeable sound of the Beast With Two Backs. Yes, when you’re a bellman you will most definitely hear people having sex. And not just, quiet, pedestrian sex.

No, usually travelers are so caught up int heir new surroundings – and occasionally, the thrill of an illicit hook-up – that they REALLY cut loose. Seriously, some of these folks sound like they’re going to kill each other. But in a great way, of course!

And you know what’s horrible about that?

You don’t want to listen, (not really?) but you can’t help yourself! And the really horrible thing about that is that moment when you realize you should be having sex instead of listening to it through a door for $11 an hour!

Now that’s truly terrible…

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39 Responses to #135: Being An Unintentional Voyeur…

  1. What can I say…. Hmm, totally agree. Now I’m off to have …. a sleep. What did you think I was going to say?! Hooked!

  2. LOL, Just the little touch of humor I needed to start my day, Hook. Thanks for the smile. I love your last paragraph. :) So true!

  3. This never happens to me where I work. But then, I work in a library, so I shouldn’t expect it to.

  4. Years down the road you will write the next great (serious) American novel which will be proclaimed brilliant for its’ gritty unexpected details – ultra-real slices of life that could only be written by a serious observer who has been there (and wished he hadn’t been at times.)
    Hilarious story for Monday -thanks!

  5. You don’t want to listen…balderdash I say !!! You do…because you wonder. Just a little. Do they sound as if they are having as much fun – or God forbid more fun than you do when you cut loose…

  6. Some freaks pay 11$ to listen, so at least you are getting paid :) .

  7. At least if you’re making all that noise at a hotel, your children can’t disclose the details at Thanksgiving dinner. If you become the subject of a blog somewhere and no one knows your name, that’s a whole lot better than “Poppa, guess what we heard our mom and dad say when they were both in the shower?” Yeah… fun times!

  8. For the record, we were just “conserving water”… there is a drought, ya know?

  9. One time at the Keg Fallsview, we could see directly into the hotel beside us. There was a couple just givin’ it! Our restaurant manager called to complain as many of our guests were lining up for a better view. We watched the man answer the phone, then turn to the windows! He saw all of us with our noses pressed against the glass, he got up to close the curtains, she hid under the covers!! Love hotels!

  10. LOL!!!! What a brilliant post!!! Too bad the art work in your hotel you cannot slip behind, remove the art work’s eyes and watch like the shows of old. Although they were not watching people enjoy themselves. Or maybe they were and they just changed what they were seeing???

    Thanks for the chuckles!!!!

  11. Oh wow. So… you guys can hear us out there [in the hallway]? LOL! Pardon me and “the Beast with Two Backs”.

  12. Hahaha, Hook, you’ll be the death of me! Beast with two backs, lol! I LOVE this post. Makes me want to… oy, I’d better watch my words… :lol:

  13. When I worked as a housekeeper in a hotel we had to clear everything away when the deed was done. Trust me, hearing it is better.

  14. Oh, The Hook! You’re one hilarious man! :) both your blogs are wel-written and full of humour.

  15. I have to admit that I am a little… Vocal… When my lover and I are together. And we’re almost always in a room. It isn’t that I try to be loud, I’ve actually tried to be quiet, but he enjoys my noise and he makes me enjoy myself and… Sigh.

    We do clean up after ourselves though, including taking the condoms out with us so there is no mess for anyone to see. Hopefully that makes up for it a little bit.

  16. In just a few weeks I’ll be making hotel employees and patrons uncomfortable too. Sorry it’s just the nature of the beast. Can’t help it hotel sex is just so much fun!

  17. Pingback: A Not-So-Terrible Thing: The Bellman Chronicles Is “Live”. | The Book of Terrible

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