THE SCENE: A beautiful woman disrobes and slides into a bubble-filled tub. She gets out, puts on something slinky and revealing – and picks up the phone!
SHE’S ON THE PHONE! WHY IS SHE DRESSED LIKE A STREETWALKER IF NO ONE CAN SEE HER?
We’ve all seen these ads – far too many times, in fact. They’re a staple of late-night television, and for good reason.
The slimeballs that run these companies assume, rightfully so, that most people watching tv late at night are tired and horny, and thus easily swayed by hot girls or guys. Never mind that beautiful people aren’t the target demographic; hot chicks don’t need to meet people over the phone! They appear to be having a great time talking to strangers, so you will too!
And I’ve always wondered, what do people really want from these lines, true love, or a hookup? If you’re horny, the phone chat isn’t going to end with an orgasm, and if you think your soul mate is waiting on the other end of the line, you need to call an entirely different type of line!
Even if you’re compelled to reach for your credit card and call one of these lines, do you really think you’re going to end up speaking to someone truly hot? Nine times out of ten, you’re actually speaking to someone who is, shall we say, less than attractive?
And the wrong sex.
Truthfully, if you’re that randy at 1 am, you’d be better off watching a Bree Olson flick or calling one of these lines…