DC Comics Wants To Change New Comic Book Day Forever!

Superman’s creators are bored and have decided to kill him.

Again.

This time around though, they’re taking out their entire universe! Don’t worry, the DCU will be resurrected and rebooted into a different yet recognizable form. And if all goes according to the company’s plan, your local comic book outlet will undergo some changes as well.

In addition to over 50 new #1 titles in September, DC will be unveiling same-day digital publishing which many believe will signal the death kneel of the comic book store as we know it.

Or will it?

Will Store Like This Soon Vanish?

According to some retailers, readers will still have to physically travel to a store to download their titles! The retailer will have a series of cards or codes the customer will have to pay for before swiping or downloading.

Confused? Join the club.

The coming months will hopefully bring some enlightenment, but until then, there is going to be a lot of fanboy head scratching going on.

 THE NEW JLA: HEROES FOR A DIGITAL AGE?

Related articles

• DC comics to simultaneously release print, digital versions of comic books (teleread.com)
• DC Comics planning day-and-date digital comics publishing for relaunch (mobile-ent.biz)
• DC Comics Is Rebooting Everything and Going Digital (blogs.forbes.com)

Toronto’s Mayor Dives On A Political Hand Grenade!

Image via Wikipedia

It’s amazing what some people are willing to  sacrifice just to be able to throw back a few beers by the lake.

Newly elected Toronto mayor Rob Ford could use some political protection from his American cousins right about now.

The mayor, in his infinite wisdom, has decided to skip this year’s Pride Parade in order to maintain a family tradition of partying it up in Cottage Country.

Naturally this has moved him to the top of the hit list of many, if not all,  gay rights activists in Toronto. Since he took office, the outspoken mayor of the Canadian megacity has refused every olive branch extended his way by the gay community.

This Jack Frost routine of freezing out an entire segment of the population could be considered political suicide for a mayor who is still getting his feet wet in a melting pot community. Prior to the 1990s, Toronto’s mayors have always spurned the Pride Parade, despite the racist overtones of such action.

But the world has changed and the parade is now an event of choice for many sponsors hoping to grab some of the millions in tourist revenue the event brings in annually. And this mainstream acceptance has brought out the politicians.

Tolerance can reap monetary and political benefits, under the right circumstances.

It’s too bad Mayor Ford refuses to accept this.

Pride Week is a 10-day festival that kicks off Thursday.

The mayor said he still may attend other Pride-related events, but first has to “check his schedule”.

As it stands, Rob Ford could use this American political item…

Related articles

• Toronto Mayor Shuns Pride and The Gay Community (therainbowpost.com)
• Toronto mayor to skip Pride (macleans.ca)
• Toronto Mayor Rob Ford to skip pride parade to go to family cottage (theglobeandmail.com)
• Ford’s family defends decision to skip Pride Parade (cbc.ca)

Cars 2 Zooms Into Theatres On Thin Tires!

The original Cars raced out of multiplexes after winning the hearts of millions of screaming rugrats.

It then raced into stores, in the form of merchandise, where it made off with hundreds of millions of dollars of their parents money.

A little redneck tow truck named Tow Mater stole the show the first time, so it’s no surprise the lovable, beat-up character, voiced by Larry The Cable Guy, quickly becomes the protagonist in Cars 2.

THE HOOK’S DAUGHTER SARAH: You’re writing about that violent mess, Cars 2?

THE HOOK: Yes, daughter-of-mine, I’m just summing up the weak, spy movie-parody-plot and yes, the violence…

SARAH: Three cars die in the first fifteen minutes!

THE HOOK: I wasn’t watching the clock, but you’re right, the opening sequence with Micheal Caine‘s British spy character was violent enough to drive two families out of the theatre during our screening. 

SARAH: Then they went back to Radiator Springs and the movie was like the first Cars, but they zoomed off to Japan and it became a spy movie again. Oh, and the violence returned! 

THE HOOK: They were trying to appeal to kids, older kids and adults all at once.

SARAH: The adults would be there anyway. Like you, they had no choice!

THE HOOK: Pixar had a choice, though, and this time they waited until the last act to bring back the usual themes of friendship and believing in yourself despite the opinions of others.

SARAH: The movie was waay better near the end. And the short Toy Story episode at the beginning was hilarious. Was Ken supposed to be…

THE HOOK: That’s all for now folks!

Related articles

• Cars 2 varooms under Pixar’s usually high bar (theglobeandmail.com)
• Cars 2 reviewed: Pixar’s latest is confusing and loud. (slate.com)
• Ka-chow! Cars 2 Toys Your Kids Will Love (celebritybabies.people.com)
• Larry the Cable Guy burns rubber (canada.com)

Terrible Friday Flashbacks – Presto Magix!

Long before the rise of video games and the world-wide web, kids were actually encouraged to use their imaginations while playing, and toys reflected that.

Seriously.

Presto Magix were simple to use, cheap to produce and brilliant in their ability to stimulate a rugrat’s creative side. There were dozens of kits ranging in variety from Strawberry Shortcake to Spiderman, each consisting of a character-specific background and a sheet of rub-on transfers.

All you needed was a pencil, a flat surface and opposable thumbs. Parents could keep their crazy kids occupied for hours with enough of these affordable kits. That left them plenty of time to smoke cheap dope and attend Key Parties down the block!

It was the Seventies, remember.

Presto Magix were perfect in their day: they certainly made less noise than violent, fast-paced video games and you could even do them outside at the picnic table.

Fresh air and an active imagination, what a combo!

Where Is The Porn Industry’s James Cameron?

The adult film industry has been taking it on the chin for decades.

Stop snickering.

Billions of people gobble up titles like Batman XXX or The Boobs of Hazard, but few have the intestinal fortitude to admit it. Still, more than one mainstream film giant has its monetary fingers in the porn business pie, so to speak.

Sex sells, there’s no denying it.

So why are most porn script doctors so lazy?

Isn’t it time to give the pizza guy a rest and find a more inventive reason for people to have sex than “Cindy the co-ed can’t make her rent! What will she tell Mr. Johnson, her landlord?”

Once upon a time, a high school cheerleader named Debbie needed money to get to Dallas and become a professional cheerleader. Her friends banded together to help her out. And they were willing to do anything to make her dream come true. 

Image via Wikipedia

I admit it’s not The Taming of the Shrew, but it struck a chord. If Hollywood can churn out the same drivel over and over, there is no reason their naughty cousins can’t step up their game.

Sure, the porn biz is populated by drug-addicted, alcoholic, emotionally scarred young ladies and their pimp boyfriends/husbands and millions are addicted to it, but I’m not skilled enough to debate its perils, just its comedic potential as a blog post.

There’s just no excuse for lazy writing.

Look, Up In The Sky, It’s….. A Fashion-forward Man Of Steel?

Quality control has always been Superman’s real kryptonite.

A integral component of DC Comics‘ realunch campaign for September appears to be updated looks for their iconic characters. Case in point, a streamlined look for the Last Son of Krypton.

 

There will  be a lot of print and cyber space devoted to the examination of this decision prior to the launch, but personally, only one phrase comes to mind.

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

A gripping story and dynamic artwork is all a comic book needs, never mind flashy threads for your hero. A guy in a suit can be just as interesting as someone right off the catwalk.

In the right hands.

The Second Half Of Supes' New Look. What Do YOU Think?

Related articles

• First Look at SUPERMAN From DC’s New ACTION COMICS Relaunch (geektyrant.com)

Opportunists or Lovers In A Dangerous Time?

They say a picture is worth a thousand words.

But do any of those words contain the truth?

This picture, to me, screams “horny morons making out during the recent Vancouver riot“…

However, according to the father of the mystery male, Australian Scott Jones, the picture screams, “heroic boyfriend”.

“They were between the riot police and the rioters, and the riot police were actually charging forward, and Alex got knocked by a [police] shield and fell to the ground,” Brett Jones told CBC News. “[Scott] was comforting her and gave her a kiss to say, ‘It’s going to be OK,’ and the photographer just took the shot at that moment.”

What he fails to mention is the fact his son is a budding stand-up comic.

Personally, I’m not buying this “comforting boyfriend” story, the couple’s body language doesn’t support that theory at all. But it doesn’t matter what I think. People all over the world will look at this shot and form their own opinion.

That’s simply how the world works.

The couple, Australian Scott Jones and his Canadian girlfriend Alex Thomas, have carved themselves a place in Vancouver riot history.

But was this their plan all along?

Related articles

• Vancouver riot’s kissing duo are Australian, Canadian (cbc.ca)
• Kissing riot couple identified (globaltvbc.com)

Bizarro Week, Day 7: Getting Lucky!

Let’s end with a bang, shall we?

Contentment is hard to come by, we spend most of our time wishing we were Brad Pitt, Donald Trump or Tiger Woods.

They may have fame (and Angelina!) boatloads of money, and athletic prowess, but there is one instance during which we are all equals.

Between the sheets, we are all Superman and Wonder Woman!

Admit it, while encased in post-coital bliss, NOTHING  can touch you!

ONE FINAL POSITIVE NOTE:

Get out there and see Green Lantern this weekend! It’s sure to be a thrill ride of intergalactic porportions!

Bizarro Week, Day 6: Amidst The Chaos, A Moment Of Peace…

The average working-class dog slaves away for eight hours a day – and they usually all suck!

Why do you think they invented the smoke/coffee break?

Or the “Bring Your Sawed-off Shotgun To Work Day”!

For those of us who don’t engage in the quest for nicotine of caffeine or even office nookie, there is one simple pleasure that is considered priceless.

For thirty minutes, five days a week, The Hook walks away from Hotel Hell and finds a nice, quiet corner of the casino across the street.

Yes, there is actually a quiet corner of a casino food court!But it belongs to me, so back off!

I can relax, read the paper and recharge the battery. Then it’s back to the trenches. We all need a corner.

Find yours.

Image via Wikipedia

Bizarro Week, Day 5: When All Is Quiet On The Western Front..

This one is for all of us dwelling in Domestic Hell, er, I mean Bliss!

The animals are snoring. The dishes are done. The homework has finally has been completed and the rugrats have been scrubbed and tranquilized.

Now something truly bizarre happens.

An eerie calm envelopes your home. You can watch some bad television, read or if you’re REALLY lucky, get lucky!

But don’t dream too big.