And Now..It’s Time To Be Versatile.

Before we continue with our regularly scheduled rants about this terrible world we live in, there is a bit of business that needs attending to. The Hook has been awarded the following honor…

Now the fun part, I have to list seven (only seven, unfortunately!) blogs that give me great pleasure and thus hinder my ability to lash out into the vast reaches of cyberspace. Here’s my “terrible” list, in no particular order.

1. The Mike-Mitch Project: Don’t read this blog on an empty stomach! The exploration of food in all its gastronomic wonder is the order of the day here.

2. Tom Huff’s Personal Blog: Good clean fun centered on fun facts designed to keep a smile on your face until you stop reading.

3. Tinkerbelle86′s Blog: This one has everything – posts from a young lady exploring the world instead of reading about it, random shots of natural beauty and manmade wonder, and loads of fun.

4. La Avventura: More fun in the sun from exotic locales.

5. The Writer Nubbin: She thinks nobody likes her. Prove her wrong and you’ll be happy you did.

6. ECHOSTAINS BLOG: One of many great poetry blogs in the WordPress blogverse. Fortunately, she can actually write as well as wax poetic! 

7. A LEGO A DAY: Self-explanatory title, isn’t it? Tons of fun in little packages. An idea so simple, yet brilliant. I wish I’d thought of it.

And now, seven previously unknown facts about The Hook.

1. I really hate playing favorites in this manner.

2. The text in all my posts seems to be coming out grey instead of black lately and it’s driving me insane!

3. I actually enjoy the music of Hall and Oates! Blame my 1980s upbringing.

4. My wife HATES the blog! Only because I have a seemingly endless list of home-improvement projects that I’m woefully underqualified to tackle.

5. I watch Glee with my twelve-year-old daughter and when it isn’t too dirty, I actually enjoy it!

6. I may be addicted to Coke. (The beverage – bellmen can’t afford REAL drugs!)

7. I’m unbelievably happy this is over. 

Related Articles

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Amy Adams Dumps The Fighter For The Man Of Steel!

Image via Wikipedia

How do you follow-up a romance with a street-wise championship boxer Mark Wahlberg? If you’re Amy Adams, you join the cast of Zack Snyder‘s upcoming reboot of Superman as Lois lane and leap into the arms of Brit actor Henry Cavill.

You can’t really blame her, although Supes did get his ass kicked by Muhammad Ali once.

There are dozens of reasons a girl would rather upgrade from Coach to First-class on Air Krypton. Among the highlights:

• No overbearing mother-in-law or drug addicted brother to contend with.
• You don’t have to worry about him complaining about your bad cooking (Unless you use you-know-what as seasoning!)
• He loves animals, (He’s owned a super-dog and horse!) which chicks go goofy for.
• He can see right into your heart – literally!

Personally, I’m not sure Adams can channel Lois’ spunky stick-to-itiveness and sexy attitude. Of course she was hot as stolen nuclear material when she played a night nurse with braces in Catch Me If You Can, so who knows?

She’ll be joined by Diane lane as Martha Kent and Kevin Costner as Johnathan Kent, which actually give me more reason for concern than anything else. Costner is a superb actor – sometimes. I just hope director Snyder utilizes him directly and we wind up with the Bull Durham Costner and not the train wreck we got in The Postman.

Related Articles

• Amy Adams Cast As Lois Lane For ‘Superman’ Reboot (omg.yahoo.com)
• Amy Adams to play Lois Lane in new Superman film (telegraph.co.uk)

The Junos Are Tonight! Does Anyone Really Care?

First off, most people reading this (All five of you!), probably don’t even know what the Juno Awards are.

 The Junos are Canada’s answer to the Grammys, celebrating individual artists and bands’ artistic and technical achievements for the year. New members of the Canadian Music Hall of Fame are also inducted as part of the awards ceremonies. Not only do most Canadians barely know what the Junos are, those that do really don’t care.

This year’s ceremony will be hosted by Canada’s black Eminem, Drake, who will no doubt play up the fact that’s he’s buddies with everyone’s favorite teen demigod, Justin Bieber. Speaking of He-Whose-Lesbian-Haircut-Inspired-A-Million-Jokes, he’s nominated for four Junos - Album for the Year, Artist of the Year, the Fan Choice Award and the Best Pop Album for My World 2.0.

OF COURSE, I'M A SERIOUS ARTIST, LOOK AT MY FACE!

Bieber is apparently not going to be performing, which just further explains just why most Canucks don’t care about their homegrown awards. There are some fine performers tapped to hit the stage though, Arcade Fire (Who ticked off some Americans at last year’s Grammys, good for them!), Hedley and Sarah McLachlan.

Of course, in order to draw Yankee viewers, the Junos honor non-Canadian talent with an International Album of the Year. Last year it was won by Kings of Leon with Only by the Night. This year the artists up for that award are Eminem, Lady Antebellum, Taylor Swift, Ke$ha and Katy Perry.

To further undermine their credibility, the Junos have decided to induct Shania Twain into the Canadian Music Hall of Fame even though her career has been colder than Montreal in February (It makes sense if you’re Canadian!) and most Canadians have all but forgotten about her. It’s no coincidence she has a new show spotlighting her attempt to return to the top on the Oprah Winfrey Network.   

 Speaking of The Mighty US of A, most Canadians love the States and that’s why they’ll stick to American awards shows. It also explains why the Junos are constantly taking a beat down from their Canadian award show rival, the star magnet MuchMusic Video Awards.

Canadian artists may attend the Junos out of a sense of loyalty but  every single one of them knows they have to crack the golden nugget that is the US recording market in order to truly achieve superstar status. Our singers know that most Canadians pay more attention to the American cultural scene than their own.

And who can blame them? Canada is responsible for unleashing the musical horror that is Celine Dion. 

For anyone that’s actually interested, the Junos begin at 8 pm on the CTV network.

 Related Articles

• It’s the Juno Awards! (aquantumofknowledge.wordpress.com)
• Drake Says He’s Ready To Host THE 2011 JUNO AWARDS (prnewswire.com)
• Neil Young honoured on Juno’s first night (theglobeandmail.com)
• Neil Young, Arcade Fire among Juno Award winners (ctv.ca)

Friday Flashbacks: Terrible Comics!

Image via Wikipedia

The Secret Society of Super Villains was first published by DC Comics in May of 1976 and starred some of the DC Universe’s most popular baddies as they decided to steal a page from the hero handbook and band together for a common goal – namely, world domination. It was a different, mostly untested concept for a monthly comic.

And it was terrible. Man, was it terrible!

Granted, the 1970s weren’t exactly known for high production values in any industry (Just look at the music and clothes!) but after a strong start, (Even with characters named Gorilla Grodd and Captain Boomerang!) this book went downhill at super speed. The first few issues focused on the villains’ discovery that they were intended as the first wave of the mega-villain Darkseid‘s invasion of earth – and their subsequent rebellion.

The bad guys actually saved the planet, but soon realized there was no money or power to be had in the good guy biz. Good thing they were evil, right?

Subsequent story lines featured a rotating cast and characters with great ’70′s names like Funky Flashman and the series’ token hero, Captain Comet! As for the high production values I mentioned, here’s a great example – Captain Comet captures a villain named Copperhead (He had a suit that allowed him to manipulate his body like a snake!) and Comet throws him in the clink with a bandage over his suit!

CHECK OUT THE PRICE!

Not all that surprisingly, SSoSV was canceled in 1978 after 15 issues and some one-shots and guest appearances in other books. The Society found themselves victims of the DC Implosion.

More than 24 DC titles, like The Batman Family and Super-Team Family (It was the ’70s, after all!) got the axe but the Society lived on in various incarnations.

I have to admit, the book may have been terrible, but as a child of the seventies, I loved it! DC Comics has announced a hardcover collection celebrating the Society’s heyday, and I’ll be  forking over my hard-earned cash to relive the 1970s, in all their terrible glory. 

Bree Olson + Twitter= Soft Core Social Media Porn!

Image via CrunchBase

“Terrible Disclaimer”: This post has some pretty bawdy language, but these particular words are necessary to illustrate how a social media site can become a soft, or hard, (depending on your viewpoint) core destination.

Twitter was created in 2006 to allow users to communicate short bursts of information with a large group. Bree Olson was also created in 2006 to allow Rachel Marie Oberlin to fulfill her lifelong dream of communicating with large groups through short bursts of carnal activity.

Twitter now services an estimated 190 million users, generating 65 million tweets a day. Bree Olson hasn’t serviced that many users, but her current and most famous one, Charlie Sheen, has raised her global profile immeasurably.

Just as Sheen has used his current public meltdown to attract Twitter followers (In record numbers!), Olson is using her account to reach her expanded audience. I doubt, however, that Twitter’s creators were anticipating tweets like this when they unleashed their social media creation into cyberspace.

I love getting an ass massage. A fresh out of the shower, lay on the bed tummy down butt rub… Mmm put it in. 10:10 PM Mar 16th

Since her upgrade to one of Charlie’s “Goddesses”, Oberlin has retired her Bree Olson persona, according to Sheen that is. She later said to a reporter from the Journal Gazzette that she was indeed retired from porn, “As long as I’m with Charlie. But be sure you put that in there though. ‘As long as I’m with Charlie, I am retired.”

Check out a few of these Bree Olson tweets, available for viewing by anyone, regardless of age, and decide for yourself if they were written by a retired porn star who is uninterested in maintaining her fan base.

So I’m not supposed to twitter about ****, *****, ***, ******* creampies gang bangs dildos porn or me being a slut… Shit, I just did. about 13 hours ago March 23

Mmmmm I am so horny. Can’t wait to get ****** again, and again, and again… And hmmm again. My panties have been wet all day. 10:25 PM Feb 25th

In bed, white t-shirt & nothing else. Legs spread and ***** ready to be penetrated. Would love to be full of *** so I can have sweet dreams. 3:02 AM Feb 26th

What’s  more painful than anal sex? Not getting to have any anal sex. Would someone come **** me in the ass please? 4:00 AM Feb 23rd

Wish I was a cheap $20 hooker laying in this bed and one guy after another would come in this room and *** inside me while I just lay here. 7:54 PM Feb 17th

Mmmm tired. I wanna go to a hot sunny place and sleep on the beach then wake up to getting raped by a stranger on the beach. That’s my dream 7:32 PM Feb 10th

Let’s face it, these tweets were written by a young lady who suspects, as we all do, that the Charlie Sheen Gravy train she’s on is bound to go off the rails sooner or later. If that happens, Bree Olson will need something, or more accurately, someone to fall back on!

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The Bat Signal Shines On Another Villian! Plus, They Killed Zorro! (Those Bastards!)

It looks like Chrsitian Bale is going to have his gloved hands full when The Dark Knight Rises in 2012.

In addition to the yummy Anne Hathaway‘s Catwoman and Tom Hardy‘s back-breaking Bane, Joseph Gordon-Levitt has joined the cast as a Bat-villian named The Holiday Killer, a.k.a Alberto Falcone, the son of Gotham city’s crime boss, Carmine Falcone. At least that’s what Hollywood trade paper Variety is reporting. 

Entertainment Weekly magazine, however, is suggesting Variety is full of Gotham City garbage and that Gordon-Levitt’s role has yet to be determined. Again, I’m amazed by the rampant speculation and hype for a movie that’s not due to hit theatres until July 20 of next year! Never underestimate the power of fandom, folks.

 BEFORE THE BAT, THERE WAS….THE “Z” 

 It’s public knowledge that one of the influences behind the Dark Knight’s design was another masked man who fought tyranny and injustice on behalf of the common man. That hero is now dead, murdered in cold blood in the first issue of the aptly titled, The Lone Ranger: The Death Of Zorro. 

“This series is a really exciting opportunity for me,” says writer Ande Parks.  “Not only do I get to write two truly legendary American heroes, but I get to write a defining moment for one of them… his death. This series isn’t just about the death of Zorro, though. It’s about the enormous legacy that he leaves behind. When a hero dies, he leaves behind a legion of people who have been touched by his deeds. Unfortunately, the bad guys that have ended Zorro’s life are a small but powerful army who plan on continuing to victimize the Native Americans Zorro was trying to help. Zorro’s legacy, even as embodied by The Lone Ranger, may not be enough to defeat this army of renegade Civil War bushwhackers.”

The first issue is in stores now and it’s actually a pretty good read. And here’s a  fun fact: the first issue features covers by comic legend Alex Ross and professional wrestling icon-turned-artist, Jerry “The King” Lawler! Buy it or Lawler will put you in a sleeper hold!

 

AND FOR DESSERT….SOME CHEESECAKE!

If we’re going to talk hype, what about the pic of Wonder Woman Adrianne Palicki that’s been making the rounds? I’m not sure how I feel about the deviation from the classic Lynda Carter outfit, but NBC just wants to promote the show as quickly and cheaply as possible, and they’ve succeeded. 

Related Articles

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Behold… The Anti-Sheen! And I Discovered Him At A Comic-con?

In the past few weeks, the world has been witness to the effects of a new and powerful strain of celebrity virus – one so powerful it even infects those who consider themselves merely casual viewers of Hollywood’s many dramas.

Yes, the “Sheen-Fever” or ”Tiger Flu” if you prefer, has spread like wildfire and we have one man to thank – our good buddy, Patient Zero - Charlie Sheen. Oh, there are those who will blame  the media for coughing this mess up onto the rest of us, but Sheen started this whole mess with his whirlwind tour of television and radio interviews not that long ago.

Now, terms like “Adonis DNA”, “Winning, duh!” and of course, “Tiger Blood” are ingrained in the social consciousness.

But there is hope. There are celebrities out there “who get it.” Actors who understand how lucky they are to be working at all and who act accordingly – by not biting the collective hand of the industry that feeds them. I’ve been in the presence of one such actor this weekend and believe me, while it’s been fun to watch Charlie implode, I’d rather see actors behave like this guy.

Meet Christian Potenza, a hard-working, self-proclaimed class clown made good. Sure, he’s had to pay his dues, dressing up as a  giant yellow toothbrush in commercials but has he complained? Well, probably, but he knows a paying job is a paying job, so he smiled and did as he was told.

Are you reading this, Charlie?

Christian Potenza is hardly a household name, even in his native Canada, but his voice is another matter entirely. Potenza has lent his vocal skills to the Total Drama series of cartoons, a hilarious send-up of reality shows like Survivor, and 6teen, an animated examination of teen angst – with plenty of fart jokes thrown in for good measure.

He may never be rich, (even by Canadian standards!) or have a min-harem with a porn star girlfriend, but he’s happy and grateful. How grateful?

 The Hook hit the Wizard World Toronto Comic Con on Saturday and Christian Potenza was there, happily promoting his various cartoon series and greeting every fan with a smile. Sure, there were others in attendance whose stars shine brighter, or they did once, but they charged fans for autographs and pictures – not Christian Potenza. He spent the day posing and signing for nothing more than a smile.

For that, I dub him the “Anti-Sheen”.

Related Articles

• Charlie Sheen Gets a Comic Book and More Celebrity News (tvsquad.com)

Sheen, Pacino: The Terrible Tumbler Crashes Your Friday, Trolls!

Let’s start off with a “Winning!” piece of news – Winning.com is up and stumbling! I’ll let you make up your own mind as to the value of the site. Those hungry for Tiger Blood should find something to satisfy their Sheen cravings.

Speaking of our boy Charlie, his Violent Torpedo of Truth, Defeat is Not an Option Tour 2011 will be crashing into Toronto, Canada, specifically, Massey Hall on April 14. This one is in my neck of the woods, but I’m going to resist temptation. I think.

And here’s a little something I just stumbled upon.

Charlie Sheen – Official Meet & Greet Package

Charlie Sheen – Official Meet & Greet Package includes:
. One premium, reserved ticket located in the first 10 rows of the stage
. Exclusive Meet & Greet with Charlie Sheen
. Personal photograph with Charlie Sheen
. Autographed 8X10 photo
. Collectible Tour Poster (limited edition, numbered)
. Official Meet and Greet Laminate

Disclaimer: Please note that all package elements will be delivered to you night of show. You will receive an email from tickets@fanfire.com the day prior to your show with Meet & Greet details (meeting time and place). All packages are will-call only, non-transferable; no name changes will be permitted under any circumstances. The VIP laminate included in the package is for commemorative purposes only and does not gain access into the venue, VIP or any backstage areas. Please note, this offer is not valid if you purchase this ticket through TicketExchange.

This was listed on the official Ticketmaster site, but it sure sounds fishy to me, even for Charlie!

But speaking of actors hitting the concert stage for no good reason, here’s the official press release for An Evening With Al Pacino!

 Niagara Falls, ON – Award-winning actor Al Pacino will be at Fallsview Casino  for two nights in June to give audiences a once-in-a-lifetime experience. An Evening With Al Pacino will include Al Pacino in a candid interview setting followed by an interactive Q & A with audience members; a unique treat for any Pacino fan.   

Would you like to hear the best part? Tickets start at $90! Granted, if you live in Canada, they’ll accept 5 beaver pelts or 25 ounces of maple syrup, but if not you’ll be paying through the nose.

 Do you suppose this “once-in-a-lifetime” opportunity as it’s being hyped, has anything to do with the huge debt Pacino owes the IRS?

 

 

Image via Wikipedia

 

   Related Articles

• Al Pacino’s Tax Debt: $188k!!! (dabxblogger.com)
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• Charlie Sheen’s tour to stop in Toronto, Vancouver (canada.com)
• Charlie Sheen Live Tour Adds 12 Dates, Goes To Canada (huffingtonpost.com)

Houston:Charlie Sheen Has A Problem! Please Advise…

Good News! Tiger blood really works.
Moving launch up from Monday November 14th to
Tuesday March 15th 3pm (LA Time...duh)
Or later if you trolls keep crashing my servers.

Can't wait. Have to see. Think of a sub-domain.
The answer is obvious. No, it's not obvious.winning.com, troll!

A writer needs a good story for a successful piece, right? Well, sometimes NO story IS the story! His tour has added five more dates, but his new website has suffered a failure to launch.
 
 




 Show Details



My Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat is Not An Option Show is coming for you.
I'm going on the road. LIVE.
Will there be surprises? Will there be guests? Will there be mayhem? Will you ask questions? Will you laugh? Will you scream? Will you know the truth?  

WILL THERE BE MORE?!?!
This IS where you will hear the REAL story from the Warlock.  
Bring it. I dare you to keep up with me.
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES 18+ OVER
Charlie really knows how to sell a show, doesn't he? Will you ever learn just what the hell is going to happen on stage or will you get violently ripped off? Only Charlie knows for sure, and he ain't telling.
A live tour requires attention to detail Charlie; there are literally a hundred different things that could go wrong before you hirt the stage, never mind the numerous X- factors you can't anticipate once you're up there.
But a website is a different animal; you can launch a site from the comfort of Sober Valley Lodge if you have the money and resources, which I'm assuming you still do. Or you could hire a company to do the work for you, like you did when you broke into the Twitter universe and smashed a record.

What's the matter Charlie? Perhaps you were unable to roll off of one of the Goddesses long enough to pick up a phone, or maybe one of your cronies was too busy picking at the carcass of your career to help you out.
I don't know just what's going on at Camp Sheen but people are still waiting for their sip of Tiger Blood, Charlie. Give the people what they want, man.
Related Articles 
Charlie Sheen Launches Website and Road Show (shoppingblog.com) 
Hilarious Video Of the Day: Charlie Sheen Dubstep Remix (wlte.radio.com) 
'Charlie Sheen Live' Tour Sells Out First Dates (foxnews.com)
  




 
 


							

The “Sheen-Fever” Seems To Be Spreading!

The celebrity epidemic that started with Charlie Sheen has been making the rounds, with more pop culture figures falling prey to bizarre behaviour every day.

Hollywood didn’t just make a few missteps recently, it drank some boiled hairspray and ran headfirst into a wall!

To be clear,by “Hollywood”, I mean celebrities in general. Whether they’re rappers, reality tv stars or actors, celebrities share a common trait; the ability to act without reason or accountability.

NO GLEE IN WATCHING GLEE?

My daughter is a huge Gleek and I go along for the ride whenever I can, but last week’s installment, “Sexy”, should have been titled “Seriously?”

The episode was obviously written by a roomful of one-handed horny frat boys! How else do you explain Gwynwth Paltrow holding up a cucumber and a condom to supposedly educate kids about safe sex in one scene and then dancing seductively with the same kids?

Another highlight was Gwyneth’s sex-ed teacher character’s advice to two cheerleaders, one of whom was afraid to let her fellow students know she’s in love with the other, “Sing a song in front of the other kids that conveys your feelings!”

WTF?

The ep has taken a few hits from parental advocacy groups and I have a feeling Paltrow’s next appearance will be steered in a different, less sticky direction.

I WOULDN’T GIVE YOU A QUARTER FOR 50 CENT!

It’s one thing for Kanye West to ruin award shows and scare White America, now 50Cent has decided he hates the Japanese? Here’s what he tweeted about the tsunami’s possible impact on the West Coast.   

Image via Wikipedia

“Wave will hit 8am them crazy white boys gonna try to go surfing.”

And: “Look this is very serious people I had to evacuate all my hoess from LA, Hawaii and Japan. I had to do it. Lol”

Even after it was explained to him his comments sounded like they were made by someone on crack, he replied:

“Nah this is nuts but what can anyone do about it. Let’s pray for anyone who has lost someone”

And: “Some of my tweets are ignorant I do it for shock value. Hate it or love it. I’m cool either way 50cent.”

IGNORANCE HAS NO COLOR

 Finally, let me waste a few more lines of post space by writing about the latest episode of that pop culture cancer that is 19 Kids and Counting. It seems the Duggars’ oldest boy, Josh has failed to listen to the pleas of a Duggar-weary world and impregnated his wife Anna yet again. This left the young couple wondering how to share the news with the rest of the family. His mom’s solution was as understated as the Duggars themselves – skywrting!

I’ve watched this program with my wife who is a fan of the show, not the family, but even she was disturbed by how “in-your-face” the Duggars are. On a personal note, I’m disgusted by Michelle Duggars’ apparent campaign to kill herself through childbirth.

Her last pregnancy nearly killed her and her daughter, when will they yield to the obvious message the God they supposedly love is sending them? The Duggars claim to be simple folk who want to instill good values in their small country of a family but they earn money hand over fist by pimping out their kids to a culture they claim is sinful and dangerous.

 

 

Related Articles

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• 50 Cent Scrutinized for Tweets About Japan Quake (theboombox.com)
• “It’s A Boy — TLC’s Duggars Expecting First Grandson!” and related posts (radaronline.com)
• Josh & Anna Duggar Expecting Second Child (omg.yahoo.com)