Before you get too excited, I’m talking about actual fairy tales, not the xxx variety.
People have been complaining for years that Hollywood’s creative minds have run so short on ideas that they just keep recycling past glories. When you look at the fact that out of all of last year’s blockbusters, only 20% were original stories and not sequels or remakes, it seems to be true.
Trailers already running for Red Riding Hood, an attempt to merge the classic tale with the current werewolf craze partly inspired by Twilight. Yet another reason to hate vampires!
Now that the genie is out of the bottle, so to speak, they’ll be no putting it back in. Snow White and the Huntsman will star Kristen (I swear I only look stoned!) Stewart as the fair maiden targeted for death by huntsman the evil queen Charlize Theron. Viggo Mortensen plays the huntsman who takes pity on the Fairest Of Them All and trains her to kick evil-queen ass!
That’s the premise, I swear.
And that’s not all. The Brothers Grimm: Snow White will give Julia Roberts a shot at box office redemption after a few lean years. I know she made Eat, Pray, Love, but that sucked if you possess a “y” chromosome.
We can even look forward to a “re-imagining” of the Wizard of Oz with James Franco as the Wizard and Mila (Did I or didn’t I go down on Natalie Portman in Black Swan?) Kunis! Mila Kunis will be the Wicked Witch of the West before she was wicked, so just a menopausal witch I guess.
At any rate, Sam Raimi is directing so it may be worth watching, but the story precedes the fairy tale we all grew up with so we can expect a much more fearsome breed of flying monkey. I’m guessing a 3-D version with blood-dripping talons. Real kiddie stuff.
Beastly opens in a few weeks and is basically Beauty and the Beast in high school and is Vanessa Hudgens‘ chance to propel herself back up the popularity charts. It looks like the stars have decided the key to reclaiming fame lies in mining the stories of childhood.
We’ll see if they find a happy ending, so to speak.
- Julia Roberts Nabs Evil Queen Role in Snow White Film (omg.yahoo.com)
- Kristen Stewart Rumored to Play Snow White (hollywoodnews.com)
- It’s Grimm in Hollywood (independent.co.uk)